


Stuck At Fucking Home

by oracular_vernacular



Series: Here We Fucking Go [2]
Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bipolar Disorder, Childhood Trauma, Coronavirus, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Drama, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hospitals, Humor, Matt is a beautiful trans girl and i would die for her, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Off The Fucking Rails: The Sequel, Paranoia, Queer Themes, Self-Insert, Slow Burn, Triplet AU, Triplets, kind of, pray i can stick with it as well as i did the last fic lol, quarantine fic, yep i'm doing it again folks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:08:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24431107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oracular_vernacular/pseuds/oracular_vernacular
Summary: Y’all remember that one time when Uncle Luke zapped me into Kylo Ren’s spaceship to help complete his Redemption Arc™ and it turned out that Ben Solo and Matt the Radar Technician were all separate identities inside his head? And I fell in love, achieved said redemption arc, and everything was beautiful and nothing hurt?Well, Luke zapped ALL of us back to the real world… just in time for a global fucking pandemic.
Relationships: Ben Solo/Original Character(s), Ben Solo/Reader, Kylo Ren/Original Character(s), Kylo Ren/Reader, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Matt the Radar Technician/Original Character(s), Matt the Radar Technician/Reader
Series: Here We Fucking Go [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764382
Comments: 38
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> listen, Off The Fucking Rails was too much fun. i've been brewing on this sequel for a while, and i couldn't really help but make it a quarantine fic given the circumstances right now... anyway!! y'all made the last fic so much fun. i really hope you enjoy this one. i also really hope i can update it as regularly as i did the last one, but this pandemic has been kinda rough so i'm not quite as productive as i wish i was. but that's okay, i'm gonna try it anyway. 
> 
> take care of yourselves!!! and let me know how you're liking this :) <3

I was sitting on a beach, basking in a sun whose light felt both familiar and unfamiliar on my skin. The entire stretch of sand before me was pale blue, the sea lapping gently against it a dark teal. There were little flecks of glittering black shell in the sand, pulverized by the waves and spat back out slowly. It was calm, beautiful. I felt totally at ease. 

Behind me, I heard the sound of boots on the sand. A hand landed on my shoulder and I didn’t even jump. 

“Little one, it’s time to go.” The voice was deep, velvet in my ears. 

“Just a moment longer?” I asked, eyes still on the motion of the water. I heard a low chuckle, and then a tall figure stood beside me and lowered to sit on the ground.

“What do you see?” he asked, and I knew he was watching me instead of the scenery.

“Thousands and thousands of years of the same cycle. Low tide like the silence between heartbeats. The colors of a thousand creatures that used to live in the water. And a lot of fish shit.” I grinned and turned to look back at him now. Plush lips smirked back below a strong nose and keen brown eyes. Kylo Ren was slowly growing more crow’s feet than scowl lines, smiling more in the last ten years than he ever had before that. 

“Does the Force show you that, or just your eyes?” 

“Just my eyes. The Force would show me a lot more, but I’m not really looking for that stuff right now. Just looking for how beautiful it is before we leave,” I told him, looking back out briefly before turning back to him. “So we’re packed up?” 

“Yes. The locals gave us some rations.”

“Christ, not mostly dried fish I hope.” The look on his face in response answered my question, and I shook my head and laughed. “Oh well, I guess we’ll survive until we can get something a little more space-friendly.”

“It’ll be alright,” he assured me, reaching out a hand to brush the flop of hair out of my face. There were streaks of gray in the front already, but I didn’t mind that I was graying faster than him. It was a good look. 

“Yeah. You did good helping them out.” As I smiled at him, I felt my heart well up with fondness in a way that never got old. His fingertips trailed down my cheek, and I could sense the beginnings of a glint in his eyes. “What’s our next stop?”

“Back to a spaceport, to grab some parts for the Falcon. Matt says there are some that could use patching before we take too much farther out into the Unknown Territories and don’t know if we’ll have a way to fix them out there.”

“How many hours is the nearest one?” 

“Oh, about four and a half at lightspeed.” 

“That’s a pretty long ride, Kylo,” I murmured, leaning a little closer to him. His fingers had come to rest on my neck in that way they did when he was starting to get hungry. And I don’t mean for dried fish. “How are you going to keep me entertained for all that?” 

“Oh, I can think of a few ways,” he replied, voice also falling to a low purr as he leaned towards me, letting our mouths hover oh so close. “Can’t you, little thing?’ 

“I certainly can. What with all that good, strong rope the villagers gave us.”

“That so?” His fingers left a trail of goosebumps across my collar bone. “Who’s doing the tying?” 

“Me,” I breathed, pressing my lips into his. I felt his body shudder with arousal, felt him go loose as our tongues slid against each other. I could just see it now, his glorious pale body trussed up so neatly in our bed, or over the chess table, or in the co-pilot’s seat. My hands found his chest, tugged him closer. He gripped my waist, and I could feel the excitement in the way his hands pressed against me. I held his face, ran fingers through his hair as our kiss escalated. Finally, when I knew he was at the edge of just taking me right there on the beach (which, for the record, is not comfortable at all), I pulled away gently. 

“I love you,” he said, breathless and fierce. I smiled. 

“I know.” 

\-----

When I woke up, light was streaming into my bedroom at my parents’ house. My heart was pounding, and I felt sad for a moment when I remembered where I was. Sometimes I missed that other life, still. 

I fumbled downstairs to make a bowl of cereal. It was lunchtime, but that was pretty much always when I woke up. I had a bad habit of staying up really late, practicing guitar and trying to write poems or even lyrics maybe, and waking up at noon. There was no incentive for me to do much of anything else, at that moment, except that my mom was finally starting to make noises about me finding a job again. Which until they got loud enough, I had chosen to ignore. 

Taking my cereal out onto the porch, I sat on the swing and watched birds on a telephone wire across the street. I was lost in the haze of my dream, a memory that felt so far away and like it was yesterday at the same time. 

“Aeon?” came a voice, and my head snapped back forward as I saw Ben Solo coming across the lawn between our houses. 

Yeah. Luke did me a solid when he sent me back here at the end of my time in the Star Wars Universe™ and sent Ben, Kylo, and Matt back with me. And his parents. They’d all moved in next door. Yep. Uncle Luke was good like that. My heart skipped a beat. 

“Hey dude, what’s up?” I asked, trying real hard to be super cool as I crunched down on Reeses’ Puffs like an adult. 

“Just saw you over here. It’s a boring day, thought maybe you’d wanna hang out.” He came up the shallow little steps onto the porch, barefoot as usual. Summertime, y’all. 

“No luck job hunting, huh?” I asked. 

“Nah. Nobody’s hiring until you get to the city, and I really don’t wanna drive to fucking LA every day to work for like, two whole months before the next semester.” 

“Are your classes over?” 

“Just about. It’s finals week.” 

“Are you not, like, studying?” I raised an eyebrow at him. He grinned sheepishly. 

“Well no, not really. I don’t really… study.” His face indicated that he knew how stupid that sounded even as he said it. I giggled. 

“I mean, you do you. I never even finished school,” I reminded him. “None of the four times I tried.” 

“Yeah well you have that thing,” he murmured. “Like, a good reason. I technically don’t.”

“Ah yeah, you’re not quite too bipolar to function, that’s fair,” I said with a nod. “Do you make good grades at least, Mr. I-Don’t-Really-Study?” 

“Yeah, they’re alright. Mostly Bs.” 

“See then who cares if you study. Just keep truckin’.” Grabbing bites of cereal had depleted my bowl, so I drank the milk out of it promptly. Ben laughed. 

“Every time I watch someone drink a lot of milk at once, I picture Kylo getting grossed out and walking away,” he said. 

“Is he even lactose intolerant or is he just on about it?” I pried, raising an eyebrow. The most condescending of the Organa-Solo triplets was really, really opposed to dairy at that point. 

“He’s not lactose intolerant, he’s just a fuckin’ dork. It’s bad for your voice, he says. Over and over and over again.” He rolled his sweet brown eyes, shook his shaggy dark hair away from his face. “You wanna come over and ignore him with me?” 

“Sure,” I laughed, and honestly I set that bowl down on the porch rail and didn’t even think about going inside to put it in the sink or find shoes. Fuck shoes. I sidled up next to Ben as we made for his house, feeling a little giddy. I mean, Ben and I made friends really fast. Almost instantly. Which was interesting since it had taken him a while to warm up to me in our former lives, and he’d always been shy. That was back when Matt, Kylo, and Ben all resided inside the same body, dissociated identities that eventually called themselves the Janus system. But Luke had brought us all back and given each of them their own body, this time around. Which I thought might’ve been him trying to give them an easier time of it in this world, since just like here on good old Earth, nobody really understood what it was like to have Dissociative Identity Disorder in space.

As we walked and I pondered this for the umpteenth time, I veered a little and bumped into Ben’s muscular arm. 

“Sorry,” I mumbled, turning a little red. 

“It’s fine,” he replied, and he might’ve also blushed. I wasn’t sure because I was looking away from him.

“So uh, nobody’s hiring huh?” I asked quickly. “Is there a particular job you were looking for?” 

“Um, well it kinda doesn’t matter because temporary work for the summer is pretty limited,” he said. “Like who really wants to be a grocery store clerk or work at a fucking Foot Locker or whatever for two months, you know?” 

“Fair enough.” 

“There was a position for being a residential assistant at a camp just outside town, though.” 

“You didn’t apply?” 

“Nah.”

“I think you’d be a great RA for camp,” I said, beaming a little. Only a couple of weeks with the triplets as my neighbors had shown me very quickly that Ben was the quietest and the sweetest of the bunch, easygoing and helpful. I could just picture him with a bunch of 7-10 year olds, paddling them around in a canoe or something and having a great time. 

“You think so?” He glanced down at me-- they’re all so fucking tall-- and I saw his cheeks flush behind a little smile. We’d arrived at his front door, and he opened it for me as we entered the air conditioned indoors.

“Yeah, definitely. Why didn’t you apply? It’s perfect temporary work.” 

“I, uh, well,” he stammered, “I dunno. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be living inside a log cabin with a bunch of kids all summer, I guess.”

“You’d rather be here doing nothing?” I raised a brow at him playfully.

“I’m hanging out with you, that’s not doing nothing.” _Oh, okay then,_ I thought just a bit giddily. As though I wasn’t red enough in the face already, at that moment Kylo came down the stairs and into the open-concept living room/kitchen at his usual unnecessarily urgent pace and nearly collided with me.

“Excuse me,” he huffed, clearly distracted. He shot me half a glare, but that was because a half-glare was mostly his default expression. Usually I found him really funny, because he did remind me of, well, himself-- back on the Supremacy when we’d met. But after dreaming of some of our former… uh… exploits, it was always kinda weird to be around him. 

“You in a hurry, bro?” Ben asked, the most genuine and non-douchey use of the word ‘bro’ ever. Kylo had made his way into the kitchen and was staring into the fridge. He made no reply. 

“Need some almond milk?” I grinned at Ben, who stifled a chuckle. 

“Actually, I do.” Kylo’s scowl intensified. “All of mine is gone, and mom says she’s staying at the office late tonight. So I guess I’m going to the grocery store _again_.” 

“Didn’t you already go this week?” Ben asked.

“Indeed.” This was, quite obviously, his point. Juxtaposed with Ben's artless sincerity, it was like I was in a sitcom sometimes. 

“Why don’t you let me and Aeon do it?” Now I glanced up at him, and I swear to God I felt like a highschooler whose crush just asked them if they needed a ride home. “We were just complaining about how bored we are.” Kylo’s eyes slid down past his nose to flicker between me and his brother for a moment.

“You always get the wrong kind,” he said finally. 

“What’s the right kind?” Ben asked, looking a little confused. 

“I prefer the Silk brand, _unsweetened,_ with vanilla flavoring.”

“Oh, okay.” 

“Please don’t get the sweetened one,” Kylo implored. Ben shrugged. 

“Okay, we won’t.”

“You think you’ll remember this time?” 

“I’ll remember,” I piped up. “I prefer the unsweetened with vanilla, too, actually. The sweet one is just too much, and the one with neither tastes like liquid cardboard.” Kylo’s eyebrows raised a little as he looked at me. His gaze was just as piercing now as it ever was before. Somewhere under his uppity bullshit, I knew he was surprised that someone else shared one of his nitpicky preferences. Call it instinct. Or sixty years of marriage in a former life. 

“Perfect,” Ben smiled. “Where’s Mattie?” 

“I believe she’s upstairs, applying for internships,” Kylo said. 

“Well, if she wants us to get anything--”

“I’ll tell her.” And just like that, Kylo was thudding back up the stairs in a sweep of his all-black outfit. Theater students often have to wear all black, and he seemed to have decided not to bother with a non-acting wardrobe. 

“Hope you don’t mind going with me,” Ben said. “I just kinda volunteered you.” 

“That’s okay!” I insisted quickly. “You’re right, we’re bored. Even the grocery store is a minor adventure at this point.” 

“Right?” He was smiling, hands in his pockets, muscles straining against his t-shirt… I was dazzled for just a moment. 

So just for the record, I never developed a romantic or sexual relationship with Ben despite being married to his other two alters in space. He’d been shy, less likely to be out, but we’d always been friends. Seeing him out here in his own body was a little bit captivating, because he never quite got comfortable in the body last time. But now he was tall, broad of chest and shoulder, with the lean yet well-muscled physique of a swimmer. He was clearly comfortable with moving. It was being around other people, interacting with them, that seemed to make him a bit awkward. Kylo on the other hand was solid, more muscle than anything else. I didn’t wanna think about how much protein he probably consumed on a daily basis. It’s not like I’m complaining, though...

“Hey Aeon!” came a voice down the stairs, and I saw Mattie leaning over the rail at the top of the landing and waving at me. “You two gonna go get stuff?” 

“Yeah, you need anything?” Ben asked as I waved back at his sister. 

“Just some of my shampoo. The purple one. And some more protein powder. I’ve been using it to make smoothies all week so Kylo’s about to run out and he doesn't know it yet. And you know how he gets. How you doing, hun?” She smiled at me, all blonde hair and honey eyes in a coral-pink tank top and jeans. Back in space, Matt had been coming to terms with identity and gender in a slow, beautiful process. But they’d never really fully embraced girlhood. Now, in her own body, she was actually transitioning. While her brothers were broad and muscular, she was much more lean-- though, there was still enough muscle on her for her to look really strong despite her smooth skin and the softness of her face, which I found maddeningly attractive. And now, she was _so_ confident. I beamed up at her.

“Oh, just bored to death. Otherwise I can’t complain.” 

“God, I wish I was bored,” she sighed. “So many fucking applications. You guys should get something for dinner and bring it back so we can hang out.” 

“Sounds great to me!” 

“We’ll be sure and get something with a non-dairy option,” Ben added, rolling his eyes but grinning anyway as he turned to make for the door (and his shoes.) 

“You’re way nicer than me,” Mattie said to him, glancing across the landing in the direction of Kylo’s room. “Have fun.” 

“So much fun,” I chuckled, and followed Ben. “I have to get my shoes, now, don’t I?” 

“Just steal mom’s sandals.” He was so cute, pretending I was doing anything remotely sneaky. “She’ll never know.” I laughed and picked up the smallest pair of flip-flops by the door. 

“These must be it. Bless your mom for being the only human with small feet in this house.” 

“She’s the only small anything here, and she more than makes up for it with her personality.” He plucked his keys from their place on the wall and gestured to me. “C’mon! Let’s split.” 

I followed him, too happy to worry about anything for a minute. Life could be this simple as long as it wanted to, if Ben was gonna be in it. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the bad news starts to trickle in.

Ben and I were standing in the checkout line at the grocery store, and I was eyeing the candy bars they keep near the registers. They put those fuckers there just to tempt you into a little last-second treat, and damn if it didn’t work on me a lot. 

“Aeon, are you watching this?” Ben’s voice pulled me away from the promise of a sugar rush. 

“Watching what?” I looked at him and then followed the path of his eyes towards the television that was hanging up in the corner, which I’d managed to completely tune out. But now I was paying attention, as images of hospital patients flashed over the screen. Some of the images were… shocking, to say the least. I mean, after cleaving people in half with a lightsaber, nothing hits the same anymore. But it was still pretty gross and unusual. 

“...death toll is rising in New York City. Experts warn that we could have a full-blown epidemic on our hands, and that soon the US should be exploring options for quarantine, following suit after Italy and China where deaths have been more severe and hospitals overwhelmed by ICU patients…” 

“I think this might be why all the toilet paper was gone,” Ben said, brow furrowing. I glanced around at the people in the lines, and saw that pretty much everyone was stocking up-- but none of them had toilet paper. 

“They know that they can go to the store to get more toilet paper, right? Like it’s not a fucking hurricane.” Despite my grouchy tone, I started to feel a little nervous at the idea of a quarantine. I remembered a time where I was stuck on a spaceship the size of a large city, and even that felt like being trapped. 

“Apparently they don’t.” Ben was still watching the screen, and I could see the set of his jaw getting a little tense. “Should I be getting more stuff?” 

“Like what? Don’t you guys keep everything pretty well backstocked what with there being so many people who live in your house?” 

“That’s fair, we do have a Costco card for a reason.” He half smiled, but it faded quickly. “I just wanna be sure we’ll be okay.” 

“It’ll be okay,” I reassured him, stepping a little closer. Actually I had no idea if it would be okay or not, obviously, but I couldn't just leave him to fret. I held out a candy bar. “You want a pick-me-up?” Finally his eyes slid back down to me, and this time he smiled for real. 

“Sure, why not?” 

\-----

In the car on the way home, Ben was playing music-- I had no idea who the band was, but it was some kinda mellow indie stuff, really great for driving with the windows down. It reminded me of another time when I was in the passenger’s seat with him.

I could remember it like it was yesterday, in that moment. On the outskirts of a town on Ryloth, a dingy red speeder with no roof. Matt had been leading me around the market while we restocked on some supplies, taking their usual delight in my fascination with all things strange and wonderful that were so ordinary to everyone in that universe. We’d started back towards the shipyard, to the Falcon. Home sweet home. 

I had looked over, blinked, and realized all of a sudden that Ben was driving. He looked nervous. 

“Oh, hey Aeon,” he’d said, knuckles starting to whiten on the steering wheel. 

“Have you ever driven before?” I’d asked, reasonably sure he hadn’t. 

“Nope, but Matt’s showing me how!” 

“Right now?” 

“Yep.” 

“Fucking shit,” I’d groaned, feeling my guts churn a little. “Well, eyes on the road, and all that.” He was even quieter than usual, and sometimes he seemed to be muttering-- as though Matt was trying to tell him what to do inside his head, and he was responding. But he stayed relatively steady-- until there was a little lizard-looking thing in the dirt road ahead of us. The speeder had jerked, skidded a little, and I couldn’t help the yelp of fright I let out even as the thing stuttered to a stop. 

“Ben, what--”

“Ah, shit, I hope I didn’t hit it!” Ben was saying, almost to himself, as he let the vehicle stall and leapt out of it back towards the road. 

“Hit what?” To be honest, I’d barely registered the weird little reptile at the time. So I fumbled out of the speeder as well, following Ben as he ran back to kneel by its body.

“Oh no,” Ben said, clearly dismayed, as he reached out to touch the scaly critter ever so gently. “Shit.” I caught up and saw that the tall fin along its back was almost snapped in half, bleeding greenish and dangling by a flap of skin. The bottom of the repulsorlift speeder had clipped it just enough. 

“Ben,” I murmured, putting a hand on his shoulder. He looked back at me, face drawn and sad. 

“What do I do? I didn’t mean to hurt it.” My heart broke for him in that second, his first roadkill. That’s a terrible moment for all of us. But the little space-lizard wasn’t dead, yet. 

“Have you been practicing with the Force?” I asked him gently, kneeling beside him. 

“Yes.”

“Then here.” I put my hand over his where he had pressed it against the lizard’s panting belly. The creature was so stunned it didn’t even recoil, or try to bite us. I pressed my fingers into his skin, acutely aware of the difference between touching Ben and touching either of his alters. My eyes slid shut, feeling the everpresent ebb and flow of the Force. I could feel him looking anxiously at me, and felt it when his eyes closed, too. 

When we’d opened them, the fin was knitting itself back together. 

“Wow!” Ben had said, excited and joyful. “You healed it!” 

“We healed it,” I corrected him gently with a smile. He looked at me, and smiled back. His eyes always seemed larger, more full of the sunlight than the other two. 

“Just like we healed you, huh?” 

It took me a while to realize that I’d drifted off into this memory whilst staring at Ben as he drove his Civic down the quieter roads nearing our neighborhood. My hand was dangling out the window in the breeze, the music was floating through my ears, and he was watching the road with that artless, open expression. I remembered every mole on his face, the flourish of tanned skin over his cheeks and nose, the unintentional pout his lips were always in. 

When his eyes cut over to me, cut back ahead, then cut back once more and he started to blush, I felt my face get hot.  _ Now you look like a creep. A creep who stares lovingly at their hot neighbor. Nice going.  _

“Um…” he said.

“Sorry,” I muttered, flustered, turning my head towards the windshield and my eyes drifting in the opposite direction from him. “I was just thinking really hard.”

“About what?” He glanced over at me again, almost eager. It made my face even hotter to try to glance back at him. 

“Uhm, nothing, just… someone I knew a long time ago.” His face fell, and my heart jumped in distress. “I mean, someone who reminds me of you,” I added hastily. Nothing I was doing was helping the color my face was turning, I’m absolutely sure. 

“Oh really?” Ben was half-smiling, still shy. “In a good way?” 

“Yeah, a good way.” I nodded, eyes drawn back towards him again. “Just, you know. You both seem to care a lot. In general.” 

“Yeah?” He didn’t seem to know what to do with this, but it was pretty clear that he liked it anyway. “What makes you say that?”

“I dunno, you’re both just… really kind. You’re so worried about your family.” 

“Well, yeah, they’re my family.” 

“Some people wouldn’t worry as much as you. I don’t think I worry that much.” 

“I don’t mean this to be rude or anything, but every family has people who worry and people who _cause_ those people to worry. You might be more the latter,” he said, biting back a grin. I side-eyed him, pretending to frown, but then I laughed. It was hard to even fake being upset with Ben.

“Okay. You have a good point,” I ceded as he pulled into the driveway of his house. I glanced over-- there were still no cars in the covered port beside my house.  _ Mom’s still at work, and Dad’s… wherever he is, _ I thought. 

“You okay?” Ben asked, and my head jerked back towards him a little too quickly. 

“Hm? Me? I’m fine. Here, let me help you carry the groceries.” I started to lean back to grab the plastic bags in the back seat, but Ben apparently was thinking along those same lines and instead we just managed to bump our foreheads into one another. 

“Ow!” I hissed, rubbing the spot and wincing, but feeling a silly, slightly nervous laugh start to bubble out of me anyway. 

“I’m sorry,” chuckled Ben, rubbing his own forehead. “That was my fault.” 

“No, it’s cool.” 

“Let me get them. It’s not that much stuff.” 

“Yeah but I wanna feel like I did literally anything helpful on this trip,” I said, laughing again.

“You being there was helpful enough, I promise,” he replied, smiling as he towed the brown plastic bags up into his seat. “Go open the door I guess, if you wanna do something.” 

“I can open doors!” I was out of the car and tugging the front door open even as Ben climbed out with bags dangling from his elbows and fists. He shook his head at me, smiling in a way that seemed awfully fond for someone who’d only known me for a couple weeks. 

“You’re _very_ skilled at that, yes,” he agreed, walking past me and into the house. I was just about to say something that I’m sure was really witty and funny when I heard a massive thud on the ceiling, and shouting. 

“Christ alive, what’s going on?” I asked as I scurried to follow Ben into the kitchen. 

“Jesus. Must be Kylo and Rey again.” He seemed annoyed as he set the bags down on the breakfast bar and started pulling things out of them. My guts, however, turned to stone when I heard that. 

“W-who’s Rey?” I asked, voice quiet. Like I didn’t already know. 

“His girlfriend. She’s an actor, too. They fight all the time, and it drives everyone fucking nuts. But with Mom and Dad not home right now to tell them to fuck off, it’s happening.” As he told me this, Ben was shuffling all around putting what we’d bought in the various places it belonged. I felt suddenly and profoundly discouraged, and.... slightly angry? 

“Why do they fight so much?” That was another question I had a feeling I knew the answer to. 

“I think it’s because they’re too similar, but they seem to disagree on everything despite that.” 

“One of those couples who are too similar in all the wrong ways, huh?” 

“Yeah, pretty much.” Ben shut the fridge door, balled up the last plastic bag for recycling, and came back over beside me. “We don’t have to stay here if that, uh, bothers you. The fighting.” 

“It.. kinda bothers me, I won’t lie.” I wasn’t just referring to the fact that it was fucked up for Rey to be here and for Kylo to be dating her. The Voice of Reason in my head was all, _you know you’re not entitled to Kylo as a romantic prospect now that he’s here just because y’all were married in your former lives, right?_ Another part of me was more like _hey, fuck you Luke for bringing her here too!_ Yet another part was actually just upset by the sound of fighting because it was all too familiar in my own home, between my parents. 

“You wanna go somewhere else?” Ben’s brow was knit as he looked at me. 

“I’m… it’s okay,” I murmured. “Could we just sit outside, or something?” 

“Sure,” he replied. “You want anything? Water? Maybe a snack?” 

“I’m good,” I laughed. “See. That’s what I mean about you being kind, and a worrier.” 

“Fair enough.” He was smiling, leading me towards the back door where the patio opened up under the afternoon sun. 

\----

We’d been out there talking on the loveseat for a while when finally I heard the sound of amazingly loud stomps thudding down the stairs inside and then the patio door squeaked open. Ben rolled his eyes, giving his brother a look of frustration as he emerged into our view. 

“Don’t fucking say anything,” Kylo huffed immediately as he grabbed one of the nearby chairs and pulled it up closer to us. He was jerking something out of his pocket-- a pack of cigarettes. I raised an eyebrow at him. 

“You’re lucky Mom and Dad aren’t here if you’re gonna make all that racket and then smoke about it,” Ben grumbled.

“I said don’t,” Kylo growled as he put a cigarette in his mouth and brought up his lighter, hands a little shaky as he tried unsuccessfully to light it. “And yes, I know they’re bad for you.” 

“Can I bum one?” I asked, feeling that weird feeling in my gut that I sometimes get that makes me want a cigarette. Maybe it’s the ghost of the urge to self-destruct, which by then I’d redirected over and over to less dramatic urges. Kylo’s black eyes cut over to me. He seemed surprised, which was turning into a theme with him and me. 

Without answering, he tugged another stick out of his box and held it over to me. I took it, holding it between my lips as he offered his lighter, which was finally flickering. Once mine was lit, he got his own and tucked the lighter back into his pocket. He stared out into the quiet woodsy area between our street and the next, absolutely the picture of a brooding, angsty guy. I drew in the nicotine slowly, and glanced at Ben. he seemed surprised too, and like he was trying to hold back some kind of negative response. 

“Sorry,” I said. “I still have one now and then. I hope you don’t think it’s gross, or anything.” 

“I actually don’t mind,” he replied, eyes softening. “The smell reminds me of Dad, when we were little kids.” 

“Yeah, when he was around,” Kylo added, still not looking at either of us. 

“It reminds me of my grandpa,” I said. “He’s been dead since I was little, but I remember how he always smelled like tobacco and that really old Clove gum.” 

“Dad just smells like cigarettes and aftershave,” Ben chuckled. “It’s a weirdly specific smell.” 

“I like those. Sense memories. I remember some smells better than I remember the person I associate them with. Then again, I don’t remember a lot before the age of like, nine, or something.” I shrugged, letting the smoke drift before I inhaled it this time. Wondering, obviously, if I would get close enough to any of them to see if they still smelled the same way they had in space.

“Why not?” Ben asked. For a split second he seemed worried again. 

“I dunno. Just don’t.” 

“Sorry Ben, but did you pick up anything for dinner or should I figure something out?” Kylo interjected, voice more flat and tired than rude. 

“I got some frozen pizzas. They’re out of a bunch of random shit at the store. Something about this virus might get bad? I dunno why that’s motivated people to buy way too much toilet paper, but apparently it has.”

“Huh. Weird. You want me to go put them in the oven?” I almost froze, slightly shocked by Kylo being helpful. _Maybe this Kylo isn’t exactly like the other one…_

“It’s okay, I’ll go put them in and tell Mattie,” Ben replied, rising from the seat and glancing down at me with a little smile. I returned it, watched him go back inside. Through the windows I could see, with the lights inside being on and the sunlight fading quickly, as he pulled the boxes out and turned them over with a puzzled brow, looking for the directions. I stifled a giggle, then turned back around to continue having my smoke with Kylo. 

For a long, awkward moment, we said nothing. I wanted to grill him pretty much immediately about Rey, but it seemed like a bad time. He stared out into the trees, just as unreadable as he always was. But I knew him well enough at that point to know that he was feeling a lot of things, and they were confusing him, and that confusion was making him angry. That didn’t ease my desire to talk about it, despite the fact that it was a dumb fucking idea. 

“Thank fuck you don’t smoke menthols,” I said to him, taking a drag. Testing the waters. I saw his eyes glance over to me, but he said nothing. I sighed, letting two spouts of smoke out of my nostrils. 

“I feel like smoking menthols is just pretending you’re not smoking tobacco,” he said finally, not looking at me. I raised an eyebrow.  _ Somehow, this line of thinking seems totally in-character for him. _

“I just don’t like the way they make my lips tingle, but you have a point.”

“Menthol makes your lips tingle?” Now he looked at me sidelong, still pretending not to care enough to turn and face me. 

“Yeah. But not in like, a good way.” His face just barely turned, then. One eye was looking dead-on at me, and something I would almost call mischievous had arisen there. 

“What makes them tingle in a good way?” he asked, as though he was confused-- but also curious. I felt my heartrate start to pick up, could feel it beating in my cheeks.  _ Is he…  _ flirting _ with me? _

“Um, that’s--” By whatever grace I have in this life, Ben chose that moment to open the patio door and step outside. Under a stern brow, Kylo gave his brother a look that might’ve been a glare, but might’ve just been the way he always looked. 

“Pizza should be done in like, fifteen minutes,” Ben said cheerfully. 

“Cool.” Kylo had officially turned back around into his disaffected pose, not looking at me anymore. I decided to redirect my frustration into smiling at Ben. 

“Thanks. For letting me come eat with y’all. It’s really lonely at my house right now.” 

“Where are your parents?” Ben asked. 

“My mom’s on a 24 hour shift at the hospital, and my dad…” My voice trailed off as I realized I wasn’t sure what to tell them. But shit, what was the point of lying? “I dunno where he is. Mom kicked him out last week.” 

“Shit,” Ben murmured, putting his hand on my shoulder. Ripples of electricity washed over my body from the contact. “I’m sorry, Aeon, I didn’t mean--”

“It’s okay,” I cut him off. “I’m not gonna pretend it’s not happening. Might as well be real about it.” 

“That sucks, though.” 

“Yeah. It’s quieter around my house now, at least. Less fighting.” As I said this, I almost felt Kylo tense up. He’d been looking sidelong at me again, but now he looked so far away I could only see a sliver of his face. I wondered vaguely if he felt guilty for fighting with his apparent girlfriend (ugh) while I was in the house, now. Or if he was just being extra broody. My cigarette was almost done, so I rose to my feet beside Ben. “Where should I put this out?” 

“I’ll take care of it,” Kylo said. He was still looking almost dramatically away, but he held out his hand to take my cigarette butt. A little uncertain, I stepped over to slip it between his fingers, our knuckles brushing together. It felt like a tiny spark jumped between our skins; I remembered viscerally the feeling of being connected to him through the Force, which felt like both yesterday and forever ago. 

“Thanks,” I murmured, and shuffled back over to his less confusing brother. “You need any help with dinner stuff?” 

“Nah,” Ben assured me. “I’ll just get napkins and some drinks. You want anything, Kylo?” 

“Gimme a beer.”

“Do you care what kind?” 

“I really don’t.” He was turning what was left of my cigarette between his fingers, taking a long drag on his own. 

“Okay. Come on in when you’re done doing your thing,” Ben replied, nodding to me as he turned to go inside. I followed him across the stone patio and to the door, grabbing it as he held it open. I turned to glance back at Kylo before I went inside; I couldn’t help it. The wall between us was a foot thick, and it felt acutely weird all of a sudden. In his chair, he was made of marble. 

I went inside, towards Ben’s warm smile. At least one of these three already felt as close as it made sense for us to be.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay... i'm a-working on it lol. taking longer this time, but i still am excited. i'm taking suggestions (not requests... SUGGESTIONS... because sometimes some things just don't fit into the story and i wouldn't want you to feel bad if you didn't get a thing you requested!!) for favorite tropes and things you love in your modern/triplet AUs. i haven't actually read many myself, so i'm doing a little research xD
> 
> take care of yourselves everyone!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I get dragged into having fun.

I was sitting on the roof outside my bedroom window while the afternoon sun was starting to sink low the next day. I’d started out overthinking basically everything-- my past with the triplets back when they’d been a system, the fact that I was home now and had no idea what to do with myself, the lurking threat of some kind of virus that I frankly wasn’t paying enough attention to based on how serious it sounded on the TV that one time, my dad being MIA, my three massive crushes living next door, and one of them’s extremely unwelcome girlfriend. There had been so many thoughts in my head, I felt sure I was gonna get stuck inside them. But by the time I climbed out onto the roof tiles and sat still for a moment, my mind was blank. Like it was too overwhelmed and just gave up thinking. 

When I heard the slide of a window opening next door, I almost jumped. 

“Hey hun,” came a voice, and I saw Mattie’s blonde head leaning out of a window and smiling at me. I felt myself smile back at her, almost involuntarily. She still made me feel lighter, even though I didn’t know this version of her as well as I’d known my spouse before her. 

“Hey, what’s up?” I realized that there was a patch of roof on their house that she could’ve easily climbed out onto as well, and we could’ve sat there talking to one another. Behind her was the hallway of the second story landing. 

“You wanna come with me and the boys tonight? We’re going out to party a little, since Mom says the state’s probably going into lockdown next week ‘cuz of the virus.” 

“Lockdown?” My smile fell. “Like, an actual quarantine?” 

“Something like that. It’s getting bad. So we gotta get one last night of fun before we get shut in for awhile!” She seemed a little too excited. 

“Wouldn’t going out mean we might get the virus, then?” I asked, brow knitting.

“We’re not going all the way into LA, hun. Not to the busiest places possible or anything.”

“Where were you gonna go?” 

“Well, I wanna go by the gay bar,” she began, grinning at me, “obviously. Ben wants to go to a barcade, because he’s precious, and Kylo… I dunno. I guess Kylo prolly wants to hit a normal bar or something. If he doesn’t wanna go see some goofy play.” She rolled her eyes, giggling. I couldn’t help but giggle too-- Kylo struck me as the type who would insist on going to see some half-assed Shakespeare production just so he could critique it at the bar afterwards. 

“That sounds fun. But I’m not that much of a party person, Mattie. I don’t think I’d be that much fun.” 

“You don’t have to drink if you don’t wanna,” she insisted. “You can dance with me, play Pac Man with Ben, and like, ignore Kylo.” 

“I haven’t been out like that in a really long time, though. I have no idea what to wear. And my hair…” I reached up to touch the tousled mess my hair had become. Upon returning to Earth, it was right back to being short, shaggy, and unkempt. Neglected, even. I tried to comb my fingers through it, but quickly stopped when I realized that I couldn’t without getting stuck on knots.  _ You’d think this was too fucking short for knots, but oh no… _

“Oh, hun. I’m here for all that!” Mattie’s eyes brightened, and she looked at me with a new keen light in them. Like she was sizing me up already. “I can come look at your clothes and we can fix your hair!” 

“I’m not as femme as you, just be warned,” I cautioned her with a chuckle. Something about her enthusiasm made me wanna do it, all of a sudden. I could never resist Matt getting excited. 

“I don’t care if you’re femme or not, I can still make sure you look fierce,” she replied, inordinately pleased. “I’ll be right over!” 

“Okay!” I felt jittery all of a sudden, watching her duck back inside and shut the window, as I realized that she was about to be in my house. With me. Alone. Mom’s shift wasn’t quite over. I swallowed my nerves and climbed back into my room, shutting the window and going downstairs to let her in. 

Mattie was already on the porch, bouncing on her toes with excitement. She came inside like a whirlwind. 

“This is gonna be so fun! We’re gonna look great, just you wait. There’s a non-binary hottie just waiting to come outta you, hun, don’t think I didn’t notice.” She gave me a sly wink as she said this, and I felt myself turn pink. 

“You think so?” I hadn’t given a thought to my physical appearance in so long, y’all. I was just coming out of a period of my life where functioning on a basic level was my biggest challenge when Luke whisked me off to Star Wars Land. 

“Oh, babe. You’re  _ gorgeous, _ ” Mattie cooed, pushing hair out of my eyes and cupping my face in her hands. The way she looked down at me, amber eyes flitting over my features… my breath caught for a moment. “Has nobody told you that?” 

“Not lately,” I muttered, blush deepening. “But thank you. I uh, I think  _ you’re _ gorgeous, actually.” 

It was like I was looking back through time, watching her suddenly turn pink just like Matt always had. She shrank into her shoulders a little, hands falling from my face as she bashfully looked away, smiling that goofy smile. My heart lit up. 

“Oh, well, that’s so sweet of you, hun. Really,” she said quietly, hands behind her back.

“I mean it!” I insisted. “Honestly, all three of you are, in your wildly different ways. You’re just like, the ethereal one.” All the words I’d used to describe Matt before were wandering back to me, wrapping around Mattie in her transformed state. 

“Wow,” she murmured, covering her face with her hands for a moment. I beamed. “Okay, stop distracting me from getting to dress you up, hun,” she said, clearly trying to brush off her embarrassment. “Where’s your room?” 

“This way,” I said, beckoning her to follow me as I led her upstairs. My face was still warm, and I wanted to giggle from the bottom of my heart. 

This would be the part where, if I could, I’d show y’all a montage of all the fucking outfits I tried on. Mattie kept changing things, making me take something off and replace it with something else. In this universe, underwear was a thing. (You may recall, but there really is no underwear in space.) So I kept on my undies, and something about how focused she was on the task of dressing me made me feel less self-conscious than I thought I would. That, and maybe the fact that Matt would never have done anything even remotely intimate with me without asking first, back in space. I guess that comfort translated more fully than I realized. 

“Oh, I think I’ve figured your style out. But, hang on. Do you wanna cut your hair?” she asked me finally, a devious grin on her face. More excited than nervous, I looked at her. 

“Did you have an idea?” 

Let’s just say that by the time I was coming downstairs with her, I looked… well, I looked hot. Maybe more than that, I  _ felt _ hot. I’d caught Mattie looking at me with this expression that was hard to define on her face once or twice while she was helping me, buzzing the sides and back of my head (oh yes, I was looking real cute with that undercut, y’all) and picking clothes. It was almost like Matt used to look at me; like they were in awe, a little. Then again, my dumb ass was probably staring at her the same way, just like I used to, too. I was in a little bubble, feeling her warmth and support and excitement like I hadn’t felt my own in a long time. 

I didn’t expect my mom arriving home right as we were leaving to throw a huge damper on my mood. 

“Where exactly are you going?” she said as she stopped in the doorway and looked me over. “Hi Mattie,” she added belatedly. 

“We’re going out, nothing crazy--”

“Out? Right now? During a pandemic?” Mom’s face was clearly unhappy. 

“It’s the last time we get to have fun before the lockdown next week, Mrs. King,” Mattie said, and I felt a rush of gratitude that she was going to bat for me. 

“This thing is spreading, Aeon. You have no idea how hellish the hospital’s been the past week. It’s starting to scare me. They said LA is a lot worse.” She frowned at me and glanced apologetically at Mattie. “And why are you going out? You aren’t supposed to be drinking.” 

“I’m not gonna drink, mom,” I assured her. “I’m just gonna go hang out with Mattie and Ben and Kylo. We’ll probably go to a barcade or something.” 

“I really think that’s a bad idea. So many people touch those games,” Mom said, shaking her head. “I could order you not to go, but I know that’s dumb and you’re way too old for me to tell you what to do even if you do live here. But I do not like it one bit.”

“I’ll take care of them, Mrs. King,” Mattie said, putting a hand on my arm gently. “Me and my brothers will.”

“I don’t think it’d be any better if y’all caught the virus, either, sweetheart,” Mom replied. “But thank you. Just, wash your hands a lot, please? For me?” 

“Pretty sure Kylo has a whole stash of hand sanitizer from back when he used to be a serious germophobe. We can take some with us.” Mattie winked at me, and I grinned. 

“Fine, fine. If you get the virus, I reserve the right to be mad about it, that’s all.” My mother wasn’t putting her bag down on the couch like usual, I realized. She hadn’t gone in for a hug, either.  _ Is she that worried about it? _ “I’m gonna go shower and start laundry and pass out. You’re coming back home tonight, right Aeon?” 

“Yeah, I mean I think so. Or I’ll just pass out on the couch next door, if I’m worn out, so either way I’ll be close. And I have my phone and wallet and keys, before you ask.” I jangled my keys at her, and she gave me a weary smile. 

“Alright. Please be safe.” 

“We will, Mrs. King,” Mattie said. 

“You can just call me Patty, sweetheart” Mom replied, waving her off as she disappeared into her bedroom. I watched her go, just a little anxious about the sheer exhaustion I could feel coming from her. 

“You alright, hun?” I realized Mattie’s hand was still on my arm when she stroked it softly. 

“Yeah,” I said quickly, shaking off the unpleasant sensation of worry. Time for fun, right? “Let’s go. You still gotta get dressed.” 

“Oh yeah, I do, and I wanna put a little eyeliner on you. Not much!” she said, walking with me out the front door and throwing up her hands in response to my frown. “Not much. Just enough to make those eyes look even more amazing. It’ll be the butchest eyeliner ever, I promise.” I side-eyed her, but my aversion to makeup was shrinking under her praise and I couldn’t keep my smile from coming back. 

“Well, okay. This once.” She clapped softly as we walked back over to her house, delighted.

Inside Mattie’s room, I had heard the other two talking about where to go outside in the hallway and also heard Ben turn on the television downstairs when Kylo had retreated to his room-- apparently to yell at Rey on the phone some more. I gritted my teeth as I watched Mattie style her hair and put on her own (rather minimal and surprisingly natural) makeup. 

“Do they always fight like that?” I asked her, even though I knew the answer. 

“Yeah, and don’t worry. Kylo sounds awful but Rey yells just as much as he does and they probably take turns starting it with each other. It’s not like he breaks anything or hurts her or punches the wall or whatever. They just yell and he stomps his feet, basically.” She was rifling through a little drawer of lip glosses absently. 

“Does she hurt him?” The question was quiet, and I tried to convince myself I was just asking it out of concern for his well-being and the fact that it’s not always men who are abusive in relationships. Definitely not because I wanted more reasons to eventually corner him and convince him to dump her. No way. 

“Well,” Mattie murmured, thinking. “She did hit him, once. He held her arm to stop her from doing it again. But that was a one-time thing, and I think she felt bad about it later, honestly.” Finally she plucked a gloss from the pile, and started applying it. “She’s not that bad, really. She’s sweet, when she’s not fighting with him. They bring out the worst in each other, I think.” 

“Hm,” was all I said in reply. The blonde stood up, checked herself in the mirror (she was wearing really cute jean shorts, a purple crop top, combat boots, and had wrapped white hoodie around her waist) and then turned to smile softly at me. 

“Don’t worry about them. Ben told me the yelling bothers you, though, so if you need me to tell Kylo to take it outside or something, just let me know.”

“He told you that?” 

“Just mentioned it because he was worried about you the other day after we had pizza. He’s a sweetie like that,” she said, opening her bedroom door. Kylo could still be heard shouting from his room on the other end of the hallway, so I shuffled quickly downstairs with Mattie on my heels. When I entered the open, airy space that was the living room area, Ben turned from where he sat on the couch. 

“Oh, wow,” he said, eyes widening a little as he saw me. For the billionth time that day, I felt myself blush. That’s what being around these three was gonna be like, I had a feeling. 

“I know, don’t we look amazing?” Mattie said as she came around from behind me. To be fair, she’d picked my ensemble. I was wearing black leggings tucked into my favorite pair of red Doc Martens, a high-neck cropped tank top that was also black, had a fresh hair cut, and was sporting eyeliner for once. “The all-black look suits you better than it suits Kylo,” she added to me in a fake whisper, giggling. “Doesn’t it, Ben?” 

“Uh, well,” he muttered, realizing he was staring a little belatedly. He shuffled himself up off the couch with his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, I mean, yes. It looks great. You look great.” 

“Thanks,” I replied, a little sheepishly. My eyes raked down Ben’s body as they were wont to do-- he was wearing especially nice jeans with his black and white baseball tee and usual pair of sneakers. So he didn’t look that different, but since when did I need that as an excuse? “You look great, too!” 

“Oh, I feel like I didn’t even dress up.” He was blushing now. 

“You don’t have to dress to look nice, and you look nice tonight. Plus it’s not like we need formal wear, where we’re going,” I laughed. “Wait, where are we going?” 

“I think we should start with the barcade, but Mattie wants to start with the gay bar,” Ben replied, glancing a his sister with a frown. 

“Listen, I just wanna see who’s there. If there’s nobody cool, we can jet to the barcade,” she replied with a shrug. 

“What if there is somebody cool?” 

“We can still go to the barcade after that.” 

“I wanna wind up, not down. The barcade is chill. You know how I feel about dance floors,” he said. 

“Aw, does baby brother not wanna dance?” Mattie was teasing him, and floated over to pinch his cheek. He waved her off. 

“Cut it out,” he murmured. 

“He’s a wallflower,” she said to me. “He’s afraid of dancing with literally anybody.” 

“It’s okay, Ben. I haven’t danced in a long time, so we can dance awkwardly together,” I offered, feeling a little emboldened. His eyes seemed to sparkle a little.

“Really?” Just at that moment, the thunder that always announced Kylo’s arrival echoed down the stairs.

“Let’s go,” I heard him say, and I turned around. When I saw him, my breath hitched. He was wearing black jeans, a black tee, black boots, and a black leather jacket. Leather jackets are my kryptonite. It was also way too warm out for a leather jacket, but what the fuck did I care, yanno?

“We’re going to the Cockpit first,” Mattie said in a tone that was meant to deny argument. 

“Whatever,” Kylo replied, running his hand through his hair. His eyes landed on me just then, and I saw them catch for a moment before he blinked and cleared his throat. “Didn’t know you were coming with, Aeon.” 

My name in his voice made my knees a little gelatinous, I won’t lie.

“Yeah, well, Mattie wanted an excuse to help me dress up, I guess,” I replied, smirking. “Who’s driving?” 

“I’ll drive,” Mattie replied. “Just cuz you don’t drink much doesn’t mean you have to be DD, hun. I’ll go easy on the liquor.” 

“I can drive if y’all wanna drink, though,” I said. 

“I will not be driving,” Kylo announced. 

“Yeah, you won’t be getting shit-faced and starting fights, either,” Ben warned, glaring at him.

“Alright, fine.” Kylo threw up his hands. “Fuck, dude. Can we just go?” 

“All aboard!” Mattie called, grabbing her keys and sailing out the front door. The rest of us followed. 

It wasn’t until I was in the back seat with Ben that I realized I had no idea what exactly I was getting myself into. But boy oh fuckin’ boy, was I in it now. 

\-----

The first stop turned out to be the barcade. I have no idea how Ben won with Mattie driving, but that’s where we ended up. Kylo was stony and made straight for the bar. Mattie was buoyant and also made straight for the bar. Ben walked alongside me, slower than the other two. 

“So you don’t drink?” he asked. 

“Not a lot,” I replied. I wasn’t supposed to drink at all, technically. But a drink or two every now and then hadn’t seemed to be a problem. Not counting when I was in space, but I didn’t even drink that often there, either. 

“Do you need a sobriety buddy? Should I not drink, too?” He was being so cute. I smiled at him. 

“Nah, you can drink, it’s fine. I seriously don’t mind driving if y’all wanna get toasty later. I might even have a drink eventually.” 

“Is that okay? For you to have a drink?” 

“As long as I have y’all, I think I’ll be fine. Just, you know, don’t let me do anything stupid. Which, if I only drink a little, shouldn’t happen anyway.” I grinned as I walked up to Galaga. “But, I could be totally shit-faced and I’d still beat you at this game.” 

“Oh really?” Ben’s expression went from a little concerned to a crooked eyebrow above the most delightful little smirk. “You think?” 

“I know. I am the  _ best _ at Galaga,” I smirked back. 

“Let’s test your theory, hm?” He jangled the quarters in his pocket. 

“You’re on!” 

By the third time I’d beaten him, he was laughing.

“Shit! You weren’t kidding!” 

“I told you!” I grinned. “I am shit at every other game in here, but I can blow up hella spaceships!” 

“You’re too quick. Those reflexes, man. I couldn’t keep up,” he said, throwing up his hands in defeat. 

“What are you two up to over here?” came Mattie’s voice as she flitted over with a beer in her hand. “Kylo’s being a total bummer, but he’s had two drinks now so I think he might start loosening up soon.” 

“Aeon was just royally kicking my ass. He upset about Rey again?” Ben asked, seeming unsurprised. 

“Duh,” his sister replied. “Also nice going, Aeon, I didn’t know you were into arcade games.”

“I’m not, just this one,” I replied with a giggle. “Sorry Kylo’s all mopey.”

“I’m used to it, hun. He’ll get over it,” she reassured me. “You should challenge him to a game. Maybe that would get him outta his head.” I glanced over at the bar, at his striking silhouette. So familiar, yet so very different from before. 

“I, uh, well I’m only good at this. Should I ask him to play something he can win so he’ll feel better?” 

“No, you should totally kick his ass,” Mattie replied.

“Honestly it would probably be good for him,” Ben agreed, smirking again. I liked his smirk a whole damn lot. But the idea of beating Kylo at Galaga only to watch him get pissy about it seemed like… well, a bad idea. 

“Y’all sure?” I asked, brow furrowed.

“Yes,” they both said almost in unison. 

“Fine, alright.”  _ Fuck it.  _ I rolled my eyes playfully, then made towards the bar with more confidence than I felt. The closer I got to him, the bigger the gap between my real and my perceived confidence got. “Hey, Kylo,” I said, leaning over the bar beside him. “You wanna come see if you can beat me at Galaga? I already beat Ben three times. I need a challenge.” 

His eyes moved over towards me a little more slowly than usual. How I was still grinning and playing it cool, I had no idea. The way he looked at me through his eyebrows sent a shiver down my spine. 

“Alright, I’ll tag that bet.” He stood from the bar, finished his beer, and put the empty glass down. He was so hard to read, but he seemed willing to be distracted from his own broodiness. 

“Sure you’re up for it?” We were walking towards the Galaga machine already, but I was goading him. Which I’d always had a habit of doing, of course. But that was back when I knew things would end… in my favor, shall we say. Oof.

“‘Course I am,” he replied, voice gruff as we approached. 

“Careful, bro,” Ben chimed in, shrugging as he leaned up against the Pac Man machine nearby. “Aeon’s a beast.”

“Yeah but Kylo loves a challenge,” Mattie interjected with one of her mischievous smiles. I slid some quarters into the slot, took my position, and glanced over at Kylo. 

“You ready to lose, big boy?” It just slipped out, I swear! But the way he looked at me after that sent fire straight to my belly. It was that same look, the almost feral look of competition. Of conquest. 

“You’re on, little one.”

Then the game was starting, and I could barely keep it together at first after hearing those words again. Decades of familiar heat had pooled inside me, and I tried to push my flustered energy into my hands as I tugged the joystick and slapped the buttons, sliding my ship all around on the screen while Kylo did the same. I could feel him glance at me between long bouts of staring at the screen, watching as the ships he was meant to shoot down swooped down. So of course I trained my eyes dead ahead and didn’t grant him the satisfaction of seeing me glance back-- I had to win, after all. You can’t just let someone win after they call you ‘little one,’ no matter how hot it is, right? 

“Dammit!” He was swearing at the machine now, knuckles white on his joystick. My momentum was finally building, and I was getting into the familiar groove of the game in front of me. But we were down to the wire, on the last level, and the screen was a flurry of images--

“Hah!” I shouted as the last enemy ship vanished in a puff of pixels. Just at that moment, I heard the sound of Kylo’s ship going down. His last life was sacrificed on the altar of my victory, and I put my hands in the air. “Undefeated!” 

“Fuck,” Kylo growled, slamming the button once before he huffed and turned away. 

“Damn. That was a close one, too,” Ben commented. I had almost forgotten everyone else but me and Kylo existed in the whole world, as tends to happen when you’re that overly fixated in both positive and negative ways on somebody, so hearing Ben’s voice brought me back down into reality. I spun to give him a high-five. 

“ _ Really _ close,” Mattie agreed. “You actually gave them a run for their money, Kylo. I’m impressed.” 

“Yeah, whatever,” the black-clad boy grumbled in reply. “Can we go somewhere else, now?” 

“Don’t be a sore loser, bro,” Ben chided him, pushing his fist against Kylo’s shoulder playfully. “You can always come back later and try again.” 

“Yeah, Kylo, you really got close. Maybe sometime when you’ve had less to drink you might actually beat me,” I added, grinning. His black eyes shot over to me, furious for a split second. Then, something else. Oof oof oof.

“Maybe I will.” 

“Come on, losers. I’m not even buzzed. Let’s go to the Cockpit,” Mattie said, putting her empty beer bottle on a nearby game and towing Kylo by the shoulder to the doorway. Ben and I laughed-- but I was laughing because, apparently, there really was a gay bar called the Cockpit now. In my town. Part of me wondered if Luke had done that too, or if it was just sheer dumb luck. I figured if it looked just like the bar with that name on the  _ Supremacy _ , I’d know. So we piled into Mattie’s car again, Kylo extra grumpy this time, and made our way through town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i knew it wouldn't take long for Kylo and Aeon to compete at SOMETHING.... lol


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I wanna dance with somebody!

Walking into the bar with the Solo triplets felt… powerful, I gotta say. Like hello, I’m here with three total hotties? It was a flex of some kind, I’m pretty sure, even though there was nobody in particular at the Cockpit that I wanted to impress more than my own posse. But damn if I didn’t feel good, rolling in there, getting my hand stamp, and sauntering up to the bar flanked by Mattie, Ben, and Kylo. 

The first thing Kylo did, obviously, was order a shot. Ben gave him a withering look. 

“Lemme just have this, okay?” Kylo replied, frowning as he knocked back the liquor. “I’ll go dance it off.” 

“Yeah, okay,” Ben murmured, not about to push his brother even further into a volatile state. Normally being around someone like Kylo (ie, in a bad mood and drinking heavily) might’ve sent me off on a bad trip down memory lane, but with Ben and Mattie there I wasn’t feeling too worried. Besides, this was Kylo on Earth. He didn’t have a lightsaber he could hack me in half with, so his street cred was way down. 

I watched Mattie float over with another drink in her hand, then turn and make a beeline for someone on the other side of the dance floor. Someone she clearly knew. I felt myself blush as I watched her place a lingering kiss on the person’s mouth. They were tall, beautiful, very butch. Really hot. I sighed, and turned to the bartender. 

“Can I have a shot of tequila and a lime?” I asked him. He winked at me, still pouring someone else’s drink, and Ben turned to me with his eyebrows up. 

“Oh, is this your drink of the night?” he asked, grinning. 

“Yeah, just a shot, and then I’ll probably dance. Which you should also do,” I replied, grinning at him. His cheeks got pink again, and he looked down into the beer he was drinking. 

“I’m… I don’t dance a lot.”

“Why not?” 

“Just… don’t?” 

“Are you afraid you’re bad at it?” The shot and accompanying lime arrived, and I proceeded to begin the ritual of putting salt on my hand so I could take it. 

“No… maybe.” Ben had sucked down more of his beer in a single pull than I’d expected as he sat nervously turning the bottle in his big hands. 

“It’s easy! Just move naturally, like, in sync with the other person,” I advised him with a smile before knocking back my tequila, licking lime off my hand, and feeling my whole face pinch in as I bit down on the sour flesh of the lime wedge. It was a pretty special series of flavors, all of them strong, slightly unpleasant, and exhilarating. 

“I dunno if I know how to sync with another person. I get anxious, like I’ll do something they don’t like, or just bump into them or something.” His brown eyes had watched me take my single shot like he was impressed I could still do it, since I was supposed to be not-a-drinker. I looked at him, smile recovering from the pucker of lime juice. 

“Well, have a couple of drinks if it helps you loosen up. I’m gonna go dance, I’ll be back later.” I touched his muscled arm (oof) gently as I rose and sailed off into the crowd to find a place to dance, the low bass of the music vibrating through my spine in a very pleasant way.

The sea of bodies was easy to float on. All my memories, the ones I retained anyway, of dancing in clubs came back to me. I’m not a very shy person and the floor felt welcoming to me; a place to get lost in the rhythms of the music, to let my body move in response to it. I swayed, letting my hips lead my shoulders along. When the song changed and picked up its pace, I followed suit. There were other people around me, close enough for me to feel like I was lost in a crowd but not so close that it was claustrophobic. At some point my eyes fell on this really, really gorgeous girl-- she was looking right at me, too. Drawn together, we danced for a few moments. But, I started to feel like a hypocrite because I couldn’t take my own advice and get into sync with her. Couldn’t possibly have been because I was distracted as hell by the idea I had only barely entertained of dancing with any of the Solo kids, amirite?

As fate would have it, almost as soon as I drew away from the girl and abandoned hope of dancing properly with her, I felt someone close at my back. A body that was strangely familiar. I fit into it, leaned back instinctively as their chest pressed against my back. A pair of hands came around my waist, hovering with the lightest touch on the slice of bare skin between my shirt and leggings. Without thinking I was pressing back further, against hips that fit my ass perfectly--

“Well, hello,” came a low voice that shot through my spine from top to tailbone. I almost jumped, turning my head around and up to look at Kylo as he towered over me, shoulders hunched down to bring himself closer. His black eyes were glassy. “Didn’t know you were a dancer.” 

“Um,” I stammered, unable despite my surprise to disconnect from the gentle sway of his hips, “well, there’s a lot you don’t know about me.” His gaze bore into mine, in the way I’d always been a sucker for.  _ Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK, _ I thought. “Kylo, should we be doing this? Don’t you have a girlfriend?” I was trying, okay?

“It’s just a dance,” he replied, shrugging, pressing his hands into my hips a little more firmly as he changed our movements from swaying to… well. Something a lot more like grinding, if I’m honest. My hands fell on top of his, electrified by the feeling of his skin. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was sending me mixed signals right now on purpose or if it was just him being kinda drunk. 

I was about to ask just that, but he turned me around and pulled me up against him, leaning down close to my face to hover our noses close to each other. My hands came up against his chest in a way that was so automatic, it took me a minute to notice I’d done it. My entire body was lit up, memories of his mouth against mine flashing through my mind’s eye. That feral growl, the dangerous smirk that meant he was about to fuck me right out of my mind. My pelvic floor muscles clenched, hard. His breath was hot on my cheek and ear, and my heart was pounding in my chest. 

When I realized my hands were sliding up to his neck, I might’ve started to panic, just a little.  _ He still has a girlfriend in this timeline, and you don’t need any more of that kind of guilt. _ The song ended, and I seized the opportunity to stand on my tiptoes and murmur into his ear. 

“I’m gonna go get some water.” I pulled back from him, trying to smile like it was no big deal. Key word there is trying, because I’m pretty sure what I actually did was stare up at him through my eyebrows and bite my lip before turning and darting away. Heart still racing, I found the water cooler and managed to down a whole glass before I refilled it and scanned the bar. There was Ben, still sitting and watching the crowd. I made my way over to him. 

“Hey,” I said as I slid up into the seat beside him again, breathing heavily. “So you wanna dance yet?” 

“Listen, I dunno if I can drink fast enough, but I’m trying,” he replied, smiling good-naturedly and running his hand through his hair.  _ Christ alive, he’s so charming. _ I was just about to say something when I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Mattie taking the other seat beside me. Her lipgloss had vanished. 

“You trying to talk baby brother into a little bump ‘n grind, hun?” she asked, leaning onto the bar and waving at the skinny twink behind it. He winked at her, just like he had at me, as though he already knew what she wanted. 

“Just because I was the last in line to get born doesn’t make me the baby--”

“I only ever call you that when I’m trying to bully you, yanno,” she interrupted him with a grin. “You should have a few more and dance before we leave! I wouldn’t want you to miss out on the fun, that’s the whole point of us even being here.” 

“Maybe I don’t think wandering out to the dance floor by myself is fun,” Ben countered. 

“Well ask somebody to go with you!” Mattie was laughing as two shots of tequila and two limes arrived. “This one’s for you, hun,” she said, sliding one over to me. “Down the hatch.” 

“God, it’s like a middle school dance all over again,” Ben groaned as we started putting salt on our hands. “Are you sure that’s a good idea, Aeon?” 

“It’s my last drink of the night. And I just chugged a lot of water, so I’m okay,” I reassured him. My cheeks were a little warm, but that could just as easily have been Kylo’s fault. Mattie and I clinked shot glasses before tossing back our poison, followed by a lick of salt and a bite of lime. Ben was shaking his head. 

“Listen, baby brother,” Mattie said, pushing our empty glasses back towards the other side of the bar, “it’s very simple. Watch this.” And with a flourish, she turned to face me and put her elbow on the bar. I looked at her, raising a brow. 

“Hey Aeon,” she said to me, ignoring Ben’s attempt to protest and instead leaning towards me, brushing her lips against my ear. “You wanna dance with me?” 

I blinked, slightly stunned, a little woozy. Mattie was  _ way _ more confident now. 

“Um, sure,” I replied, smiling and blushing. She leaned back, pulled away; her hand fell on my shoulder and then trailed lightly down my arm until it was over my hand. Then she was looking into my eyes, face all sly and coy, and tugging me off my stool as she began to slink backwards towards the dance floor. I followed her in something like a trance. 

She was so tall, her shoulders broad but slouchy and soft, flecked with moles just like the other two. Her hips moved differently from Kylo’s; they traded his somewhat bestial grind for a rolling motion that I fell quickly in time with. Every motion was lithe, but her hands on my arms were light and reverent just like Matt’s had always been. The way she moved made me think of our past lives, like she had finally found a way to live in that body comfortably. She didn’t pull or push me forcefully; her every roll and sway invited me to join her, and my glazed eyes wandered over her as I did, until our foreheads nearly touched. One of her hands was against the side of my head, stroking the fuzz there gently. I felt as connected to her as I ever had, like everything I remembered about Matt’s tenderness and adoration was right there in her touch, in her dance. She smiled at me, and I smiled back as I swam in her honey eyes. 

When the next song started, she towed me easily back towards the bar. I felt like I was on a cloud. 

“See, that wasn’t so hard,” she said to Ben, who I noticed had an empty shot glass beside him and was a little extra blushy. “I’m gonna go try to find Riley. She totally ditched me a while ago, and honestly I’m a little frustrated. That okay, hun?” Now she looked at me. 

“Sure,” I sighed. “I’m sorry your sweetie ditched you. That’s rude.” 

“Yeah, well.” Mattie rolled her eyes. “She’s like that, sometimes. I’ll come find you guys later.” And I watched her sail away again, back into the crowd. A creature too pure for this green Earth, just like she had been in space. 

When my eyes floated over to find Ben’s, he looked away hurriedly.

“You still anxious?” I asked, standing very close to his stool. 

“Yeah. Don’t think I’ll ever not be, no matter how much I drink.” Now I was leaning on his shoulder. Emboldened by alcohol much? 

“Would you want to dance if someone asked you?” I pried, worried that he was less shy and more just not that interested in dancing. Coercing someone ain’t cute, y’all. 

“Well, maybe,” he murmured, looking down and smiling, lashes splayed out over his ruddy cheeks. I leaned closer to his ear. 

“Do you wanna dance with me, Ben?” 

Yeah. I’d had a couple drinks for the first time in a while, and this was totally happening. His eyes got wide, and he turned to look at me. 

“I mean, if you wanna dance with  _ me… _ ” 

“I do,” I assured him, smiling. 

“Yeah, okay,” he replied, and he had that same look on his face that I was pretty sure I’d just had with Mattie-- except his was a little nervous, too. I stepped away, held out my hand. My heart thudded inside my chest as he took it, and we melted into the crowd of dancers. 

If the other two each had a familiar energy, Ben’s was totally new. At first, he seemed hesitant to get too close to me, so I took his other hand and pulled him with me while I let my body sway to the music. But slowly, as the bodies around pressed us more, I drew closer to him. He was following my lead, staring at my hips as they rolled. My cheeks were hot, body shot through with excitement-- that special energy you only get from new experiences, getting closer to a new person, yanno? I felt charged even as I moved slow, hyper aware of every place our bodies touched, of every thunder of bass that shook the air around us. 

I noticed his hands in mine were hovering close to my waist; as brave as my two shots had made me, I tugged them around my body, placed them against my skin. As I leaned up towards his ear, I felt his breath hitch. 

“Breathe. It’s just a dance.” It felt weird to use Kylo’s line, but really-- it was just a dance. The third dance with a Solo triplet I’d been blessed with that very night. _ I have no idea who to thank for this, but THANK YOU!! _

Giving Ben permission seemed to change something about his shyness. All of a sudden his hands rested just above my hips, not gripping me but holding me with a comfortable weight. My hands slid up his arms, our legs interlocked. We fell in sync with the music; our hips ground into each other with less urgency than Kylo’s, less smooth undulation than Mattie’s. As I gripped his shoulders just a little, his fingers slid softly around on my back. Everything made me feel wildly alive, like he was gently allowing himself to relax as our faces hovered side by side, close in the low light. I had the wildest urge to touch him all over, feel the muscles of his swimmer’s body which was only a little familiar, laced with a new energy I’d never felt before.  _ Fuck, I wonder what it would’ve been like to connect with him using the Force? _ I was so close to him, so close to his lips... But the smell of alcohol was still on his breath, and that held me back from trying to do anything despite my substance-induced courage. He seemed alright, but he was definitely drunker than me, and that wasn’t fair.

Someone brushed against my backside, and for an instant I thought maybe, just maybe, Kylo or Mattie had found us and I was about to be sandwiched between them both, grinding, sweaty, flush with the only drinks I’d had in years. To be honest I wasn’t even sure if I was feeling the liquor as much as I was feeling the high of dancing with three stupid hot people in one night. 

Sadly, my triplet AU fanfic fantasy got interrupted by the bartender. 

“Hey guys,” he said in his airy voice, gently touching both my shoulder and Ben’s. “I think this guy’s with you, he’s shouting on the phone outside and upsetting some people. You might wanna check in with him.” 

“Jesus,” growled Ben. “Okay, thanks for the heads up.” 

“Sure thing,” the bartender replied with a nod, and shuffled back to his post. I looked up at Ben. 

“Better go get him,” I groaned, and he nodded back. I turned to cut through the dance floor towards the back patio, Ben on my heels. We heard his voice before we even got outside. 

“Fuck you! Why do you always bring this up? Every time?” Kylo was shouting into his phone. The rest of the people on the deck had cleared out. “WHY do you think I never wanna talk about this? Use your FUCKING imagination!” 

“Kylo,” Ben said, his voice suddenly loud and deep and commanding as he approached his brother from the side. 

“WHAT?” Kylo barked. 

“Some people here complained about how loud you are, dude,” Ben said. “Can you save it for at home, please?” 

“Yeah, Rey, can we save this for at home?” The way he shouted it back into the phone, it wasn’t a sincere question. It was mocking, pained. 

“Kylo, seriously--” 

“I’m fucking serious!” He paused, and I could hear Rey’s voice on the other end faintly. She was just as loud and furious, and it was kinda rattling because we’d become friends back in our former lives. It seemed like the most angry I’d ever heard her. “No, no, you know what? Until you can bring this up without being petty and mean, we’re not talking about it anymore. I’m not YELLING at you about it anymore. I feel shitty enough as it is!” More faint, grainy shouts from Rey. “No, nope, I’m done. We’re done. Fuck this.” 

And, like we were standing on the battered remains of the Death Star and his phone was his lightsaber hilt, he pitched the thing out into the parking lot without even hanging up. It flew far, and skidded across the pavement to disappear under a car. 

“Goddammit, Kylo,” Ben said, gritting his teeth. “Alright. We should go. You’re upset, you should get some space away from all these people.” 

“Why does this always fucking happen?” Kylo muttered, almost to himself.

“I dunno, bro, but we gotta go. Let’s go find Mattie before she gets into a fight with that girl who keeps ditching her and we all get kicked out,” his brother replied, putting his hand on Kylo’s shoulder. I looked out into the parking lot, at the car Kylo’s phone had slid under. “Aeon, c’mon.” 

“Actually, lemme go try and get his phone in case it’s not broken,” I said, turning back to look at Ben. Kylo was facing the patio entrance, not looking at me. A soft little smile stole over Ben’s face for the briefest moment. 

“Alright, we’ll wait out front for you.” With that, I nodded and then hauled myself up over the guard rail of the slightly raised patio, dropped about seven feet down to the pavement, and made a beeline for the part of the lot the phone had landed in. It took me a minute to find it now that I didn’t have the high ground (har har har), but I was pretty sure I’d come to the right place when I crouched and took to my knees and hands to peer under the bumpers and probe the shadows for his phone. 

“Wish I had his number so I could call it,” I grumbled, lamenting the lack of light. My phone was still in Mattie’s car, as I didn’t have pockets or a bag anyway. To my surprise, I saw a sudden light and heard the beep of a ringtone one car over just at that moment. Scrambling over and reaching out my arm with my cheek to the asphalt, I managed to grab the phone and tug it out of the shadows. The wrecked screen read  _ Mattie _ as it buzzed. I smiled, and hauled up to my feet to head back towards the building. 

“Hey! You found it!” Mattie called as I approached the front where the three of them had gathered. Kylo was standing a little away, having a smoke. 

“Yeah! Thanks for calling, that really helped.” 

“I thought it might.” She smiled at me, and it felt like a warm, gooey sun was setting in my chest.  _ Wow, I still adore her so much.  _ “You ready to bounce?” 

“Yeah, let’s go. You wanna get In-N-Out Burger on the way home, maybe?” I suggested, and Ben’s face lit up. 

“Oh my God, yes! Let’s do that,” he said, bouncing on his feet a little. “I’m starving.”

“Anything for Aeon, after crawling around the parking lot like that,” Mattie agreed, stroking my head. “Come on, Kylo, let’s get some food in you, too.” We all started towards the car, which was parked down the street in a garage, Kylo bringing up the rear in a deep sulk. I looked at his phone; the screen was shattered, and I’d seen a black spot when it was lit up before where the LEDs were broken in the top right corner. I tried to wipe the grit from the ground off of it, and inspected the scratches on its flimsy black case. Pretty much exactly what you’d expect from chucking a phone like that. I fell behind the other two, and sidled up beside Kylo. 

“Here,” I said, handing the phone over to him. He looked over at it, avoiding my eyes, and took it. “It’s kinda fucked up. But it still rings, I guess.” Looking it over much as I had, he clicked the screen button and frowned at the spiderweb of cracks, the black spot.

“Shit,” he muttered. “I’m such an asshole.” 

“I’m sorry things are bad with Rey right now.”

“Things are always bad with her lately.” He put the phone in his jacket pocket as his jaw worked for a moment, still not looking at me. The lack of eye contact was pretty weird, because before that was like, his whole thing. He took a drag of his cigarette. “Thanks. For going to get it.” 

_ Wow, he said thank you. Nice. Already off to a better start. _

“Yeah, no problem,” I replied, and I saw Ben look back at me with that crooked smile on his face again. Kylo reached into his other pocket and shuffled around in it for a moment.

“You want a smoke?” Now he looked at me, holding out a cigarette. 

“Sure.” I took it from him, granting him half a smile. He held out his lighter and covered it as he lit the stick. It was his way of trying to make some kind of amends, I think. That’s my theory, anyway, and I trust my theories about Kylo these days.

We walked along quietly, deflating from the minor debacle our “night of fun” had turned into. But despite that, the siblings didn’t seem upset. Much like the Janus system had, they clearly looked out for one another. And much like I had before, I felt safe around them, despite the off moments. 

Our trip through the drive-thru was quick, and we sat in Mattie’s car listening to music and filling ourselves up with greasy deliciousness. Even Kylo was talking by the time we’d finished eating, which made my heart feel better. I sat sideways in the back of the car, my feet over Ben’s lap. It just felt… natural? I guess? You would’ve done it, too!

“Okay nerds, seatbelts on,” Mattie instructed once we’d piled all our trash into the takeout bag. 

“It’s funny you say that, cuz you’re arguably the biggest nerd here, unless Aeon’s nerdier than they let on,” Ben said as he pulled the belt over his shoulder and I begrudgingly turned back to a forward-facing position. 

“Kylo’s a theater nerd, is that more or less nerdy than being a tech person?” Mattie countered, raising an eyebrow. I giggled.  _ You mean being a technician? _ It made me laugh, at least. 

“I think the tech is nerdier,” Kylo piped up.

“Of course you do, Tennessee Williams,” I goaded him, and he turned to give me a look that was one part playful and one part murderous and  _ oh God I love it.  _

“Aeon, I know you’re a nerd for something,” Ben said to me, kicking one foot up onto the seat and crossing his arms. “You’d better just confess, cuz we’ll find out eventually.”

“Are you distracting from the fact that nobody’s pointed out what you’re a nerd for, huh?” I raised an eyebrow at him, smirking. 

“Listen, that’s not important--”

“Ben’s a nerd for dog breeds, and movies,” Mattie said as she turned around to look out the rear window and back out of her space into the exit lane. 

“Oh really?” I grinned at the nerd in question. Time to learn about Ben!

“I just like dogs and movies, I don’t feel like that’s unusual at all,” Ben defended with a frown. 

“Yeah but you know about the history of dog breeds and shit. You watch the National Dog Show  _ and _ the Westminster Dog Show every year.” Mattie was delighted to be outing her brother like this, clearly. 

“I still think breeding is shitty.” Ben’s brow furrowed. 

“This is adorable,” I commented, smiling broadly at Ben. “You are a dog nerd. That is so fucking cute.”

“What are you a nerd for, then?” he shot back, slightly pink in the cheeks. But I froze, realizing that I had no idea if bringing up Star Wars-- which was the first thing I knew entirely too much about that came to mind, obviously-- would like, break the timeline or something. Did they remember anything like I did? They sure didn't seem to. Would it mess with Luke’s Force fuckery or cause some weird paradox? Could I even mention Adam Driver or Carrie Fisher or Harrison Ford without making it really clear that Something Was Off? I tried to rattle through the list of things I was really interested in and maybe overly knowledgeable about, and for a moment drew a total blank. Oof.

“You embarrassed, little one?” Kylo prodded me, that deliciously mischievous smile on his face as he leaned around the passenger’s seat to look at me.  _ Christ alive, he WOULD find a way to start calling me that almost immediately for no reason. _ My thigh muscles clenched involuntarily.

“Um,” I said. “I dunno if it’s embarrassing or not.” _ Fuck. Think of something, dingus! _

“Well?” Mattie was looking at me with a raised eyebrow through the rear-view mirror.

“I…”  _ Oh yeah! _ “I’m actually really into historical and fantasy weapons and fight choreography. Like stage combat and stuff,” I said finally.  _ Whew. The timeline is intact. Now as long as they don’t ask me about lightsaber combat forms… _

“Really?” Kylo seemed genuinely interested, now. Actually, they all did. “I gotta say I did not expect that.” 

“Yeah, me neither,” Ben added, smirking. “That’s at least as nerdy as Kylo.” 

“Only if you know how to actually  _ do _ fight choreography,” Mattie said.

“I used to be on the fencing team at one of the schools I went to, before I got diagnosed with bipolar.” Y’all remember that from the last story? “So technically I don’t just know about stage combat, I know about actual combat.”

“Okay, yeah, definitely a nerd.” But Ben was grinning warmly at me when he said it, like he was excited to learn a new thing about me. He was so cute and it was probably painfully obvious that he liked me, but you don’t get to judge me for being too anxious to believe it! You’d think after all that time in space… but no. I was right back where I’d started.

“Anything else you’d like to confess, hun?” Mattie asked, and I could hear her smile even though I couldn’t see it.

“I’m kinda a poetry nerd too, I guess,” I replied with a shrug. 

“Wow. That’s wholesome,” Mattie replied, beaming. 

“Poetry, huh?” Ben was now giving a strange smile like he was a little… in awe, maybe? I felt my cheeks start to burn.

“Yep,” I murmured. Kylo had turned to look at me sidelong again from his seat, but said nothing. His eyes just lingered on me, a strong filter over his surprise. I got the feeling he was even a little impressed, from the ghost of a smile lingering over his face. 

“Do you write poetry too?” Ben asked. Now, I felt the weird and deep shame all poets feel about writing poetry. Why are we all like this, you may ask? I dunno. But every single poet I’ve ever met went through a long period of straight up pretending they weren’t a poet, never wrote anything themselves, nope. I was definitely still in mine.

“I mean, I have before. It’s garbage, though, so no I’m not doing a live reading anytime soon.” 

“Aw, c’mon,” Mattie said. “Why not?”

“I told you, it’s not good,” I replied, shaking my head. “Maybe if I write something half decent you can see it one day.” 

“Oh come on, everybody knows writers and artists are way too hard on themselves. You’ll never think something is good enough to show us, so why not just start now?” Ben was still grinning, more impish this time. 

“Nah, no thank y’all.” I crossed my arms. “Be nice to me.”

“We’re  _ so _ nice to you,” Mattie insisted. 

“Yeah, we bought you a burger. That’s real,” Ben chimed in. 

“Don’t worry, they're always like this,” Kylo said, rolling his eyes.

“We are definitely gonna keep bugging you about it,” Ben agreed sagely.

“I’ll survive,” I chuckled. But we were home, the streetlights soft in our neighborhood as Mattie pulled into their driveway. 

“Sorry about being a dick during our fun-night,” Kylo said as we all hauled out of the car.

“It’s fine,” Mattie sighed. “Riley was doing that shitty thing she does, too. So I almost lost my cool. I still had fun, though.”

“It wasn’t so bad,” Ben added, smiling over at me.  _ Wow, stop being nice to me! _

“Yeah. I had fun. I’m sorry it wasn’t as much fun for you, Kylo.” I mean, I  _ was _ sorry. Sorry that apparently he and Rey hadn’t worked out even in the weird triplet AU my life had become, and it was making them both miserable. That kinda sucked.

“It coulda been more fun for me if I just could cool my fucking jets, but whatever. Maybe I’ll work on that,” Kylo replied. “Thanks, though.” We were walking through the yard towards the door, and I stopped suddenly and glanced over at my house. The lights were all off, so mom was asleep. Part of me wondered if this was the bit of the AU where I got to stay over at their place, but the idea of sleeping on the couch at the Organa-Solo residence was starting to make me nervous. There was no way I was gonna be able to sleep if I was still high on their company. Which I totally was.

“Guess I better head home,” I said, gripping my phone and my keys in my hand. “I did have a good night, y’all. Thanks for bringing me with you.” 

“Oh, you’re going home?” Ben seemed surprised for some reason.

“It’s three AM,” I pointed out with a laugh. “I probably should.”

“I was just gonna shower and put on a movie, I guess I assumed you’d come hang with us. To, you know, wind down.” He was almost giving me puppy-dog eyes. My heart fluttered.

“I mean, I also need to shower,” I said.

“There’s a guest suite with a shower in it,” Mattie said. “You can always go home after the movie or if you get sleepy. And, we have ice cream in the freezer.” She gave me a devilish grin. 

“Both dairy and vegan ice cream,” Kylo added, lingering by the front door. “And nobody would be mad, I mean Mom’s staying in LA for the senate session tomorrow and Dad’s out on a long haul in the 18-wheeler, so…” Han Solo, it turned out, was a truck driver in this AU. Kinda made sense, right?

“Are y’all gonna keep trying to talk me into it?” I asked, laughing. “Cuz if you are, I give up. And I wanna borrow someone’s t-shirt.” Ben beamed at me as I started walking again, filing in between him and Mattie to enter the house.

I mean, they  _ did _ invite me, after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this is a long one, but dang it was so much fun!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest night ever, but I never want it to end.

There was way more ice cream in that house than I expected. I had the choice of cookies ‘n cream, mint chocolate chip, peanut butter fudge, vegan strawberry cheesecake, or raspberry sorbet (also vegan). I chose the sorbet, and sat still in my dancing clothes at the breakfast bar while I took my time eating it. Kylo had jetted upstairs immediately to shower, but Ben (mint chocolate chip) and Mattie (peanut butter fudge) kicked off their shoes and joined me in the kitchen. 

I felt like I was flying; despite the shenanigans of the evening, I was still full of happy chemicals from dancing and from the three of them in general. Brother and sister were in the middle of a debate about which ice cream flavor was in fact superior, and I just watched them and giggled and refused to commit to any one answer.

“Come on, Aeon,” Ben prodded me. “I know you have a favorite.”

“There are so many situations where a different ice cream is ideal!” I replied, laughing. “Why limit yourself to just one?”

“Just because one is your favorite doesn’t mean you can’t love all the other ones,” he pointed out. 

“What makes one a favorite, then?” 

“You know, the one you default to. The one you’d always buy to keep at home. The one you’d pick if you could only have one flavor of ice cream for the rest of forever.” 

“If someone tried to limit me to just one kind of ice cream, I’d make their life so miserable,” I said. “That’s just not fair.”

“It’s a  _ hypothetical, _ ” Ben insisted. “Seriously. Which one would you pick?”

“And why is it peanut butter fudge?” Mattie butted in, giggling to herself.

“You don’t even know if I’m allergic to peanuts,” I pointed out, raising a brow at her.

“Are you?” She seemed slightly distressed at such a notion.

“No,” I chuckled.

“See, then I could be right,” she said with a shrug, eating a spoonful of hers.

“About what?” Kylo was coming down the stairs at much less than his usual stomp volume. His hair was still damp, pushed away from his face. I could smell his shampoo faintly, something familiar and a little peppery. He was also shirtless, and wearing black sweatpants. I swallowed my bite of sorbet a little sharply.  _ Yeah he’s still so fucking hot. Oof. _

“Aeon won’t pick a favorite ice cream,” Ben complained in response. Kylo made right for the freezer, pulling out the vegan strawberry cheesecake tub and a spoon. He went right for it, didn’t even get himself a bowl. 

“I was just teasing about how the best one is obviously my favorite,” Mattie added, pointing to her bowl with her spoon. 

“Why would you pick just one?” Kylo asked, brow knit. 

“That’s what I’m saying!” I exclaimed, holding out my hands in exasperation. “At least Kylo gets it, damn!” 

“I’m just saying if you  _ had _ to choose,” Ben insisted. 

“He always tests people like this, don’t worry,” Mattie said with a little grin, nudging her brother with her foot. “It doesn’t actually matter what your answer is.” Kylo was leaning on the fridge as he scraped ice cream out of the tub in his hand, shaking his head.

“Oh yeah? So you won’t make fun of me for the rest of my life if you don’t like my answer?” I raised an eyebrow at Ben, who wasn’t doing a very good job hiding his grin.

“I make no promises,” he said. 

“Oh come on!”

“Just indulge me, please.” He gave me puppy-dog eyes that I wanted immediately to cave in to. Jeez, he could have anything he wanted from me if he looked at me like that enough. “This is how I convince myself I’m getting to know someone.” Kylo snorted at that.

“Let me think about it, alright?” I smirked a little at him, scraped the last bit of sorbet out of my bowl with the spoon. “I’ll get back to you in three to five business days.” At that, Mattie laughed, Kylo grinned, and Ben pouted. 

“Okay, fine.” Ben was still kidlike in his willingness to be ridiculous and silly, I thought. Actually, he’d seemed  _ more _ serious back in space than he was now. It was like humor was his way of accepting that he had to interact with people, now that he couldn’t be reclusive in his headspace. 

“I’m gonna shower,” Mattie announced as she slid her bowl into the sink. “You’re on a separate meter down here in the guest room, Aeon, so you can shower too without fucking up the hot water.” 

“Excellent,” I smiled. “Then I’m gonna shower too.”

“Ben, you should pick a movie!” She wagged a brow at her brother.

“Oh, I already have,” he replied with a sly grin. Sometimes his face strayed away from big and sweet, taking on an edge of mischief and a bit of a dark brow that made him look really hot. Like, he’s always hot, but... you know what I mean?

“Better not be a fuckin’ sports movie,” Kylo growled.

“I will never make you watch  _ Angels in the Outfield _ again, bro.” Ben patted Kylo’s cheek playfully. Which Kylo obviously hated, but tolerated. Barely.

“You’re too kind.” But it sounded like  _ shut the fuck up. _ I giggled and slid off my stool. 

“Back in a nano,” I said, heading for the guest bedroom door that was down a little hall under the stairs. I realized belatedly that I’d used an idiom from space without even thinking about it. Once again, I felt a pang of anxiety that I was breaking the timeline somehow.  _ Christ, I wish Luke was here to reassure me that a crossover paradox is impossible. _

The shower was a little bougie, just like the rest of the house. There were hotel soaps and shampoos in one of the drawers by the sink, collected from their parents’ travels no doubt, which I thought was cute. And fluffy towels, y’all. Sooooo fluffy.

Ben had found a gray t-shirt (that was massive on me) and Mattie had lent me a pair of soft cotton short-shorts that said “creepy” on the butt. It was like she already knew me. I showered, but there was nothing to wash the eyeliner off my face so I just left it, cuz fuck it. That’s a look, right? Then I put on my makeshift loungewear and wandered out into the den. 

Kylo was sitting on the big sectional couch, channel-flipping.  _ Holy shit, they have cable. _

“Welcome back,” he said to me in almost a monotone. If you didn’t know him better, you’d think he hated you, the way he spoke. But his secret was that if he really hated you, he didn’t speak at all if he could help it.

“What’s on TV? I asked, playing it very cool as I slid onto the couch leaving a healthy amount of space between me and all his rippling pectorals. 

“Not a goddamn thing.” He shook his head. “It’s amazing. Almost a thousand channels and they’re all shit.” 

“What, no crappy made-for-TV production of  _ Hamlet? _ No reruns of  _ A Raisin in the Sun _ or  _ Death of a Salesman _ with Dustin Hoffman?” I was in theater school once, y’all. How else d’ya think I got into stage combat?

“I’d take that shit over literally everything that’s on right now,” Kylo replied, eyeing me. Even in the real world, we had so much weirdly in common. And every time we did, he noticed. 

“Dustin Hoffman was great in that production and you know it,” I told him flatly, but also grinning.

“Yeah, okay,” he muttered, almost letting a smile slip out as he looked back at the TV and continued to mash the channel up button without really seeing any of the words on the channel guide. “He’s good, I guess, you’re right.” 

_ He’s already told me I’m right about something. This is getting absolutely wild!  _

“I know I’m right,” I teased him. “Do you have a favorite play? Or is that another thing you can’t pick just one of?” He seemed a little surprised that I’d asked and seemed genuinely interested in the answer. 

“It’s hard to choose,” he began thoughtfully. “Sometimes being in a play makes you like it more than you did. Sometimes it makes you like it much less.” 

“That’s fair. I have certain plays I really love because of what it was like working on the set.”

“Oh really?” He raised a brow at me. “Which ones?”

“ _Orpheus Descending_ ,” I said immediately. That's a Tennessee Williams play, for the record. “It was aight on paper. But building the set and watching the actors in that production we did at school was… I had to watch it fourteen times ‘cuz I was also running the sound effects booth for every show. I never got tired of it.” I was smiling faintly, remembering. That was one of the good times in the maelstrom of my shitty college history.

“That’s quite a compliment,” Kylo said quietly. His eyes were watchful, even curious. “I don’t love his plays that much on paper either. But sometimes a certain production does something special.”

“Best production you’ve ever seen?” I asked, which was a much more reasonable question to ask a snob like Kylo, bless his heart. He paused, glanced around, then leaned towards me.

“Lowkey, I got to see The Lion King on Broadway. I don’t even care about Disney movies, but holy shit. It was so good,” he said, voice low as though it were a secret. 

“Dude. I’m so jealous!” I was also exceedingly delighted that apparently our shared enjoyment of theater meant that he was confiding in me. I could just imagine him acting like he wasn’t interested, being all aloof and saying it was a show for kids, or something. And then secretly fucking loving it. 

“Yeah. It was a birthday present from mom and dad like, after I told them I wanted to go to acting school.” He really was smiling now, for the first time it seemed not like a grin or a smirk but just a genuine, soft smile. Talking about his parents. My heart started to grow a size, I swear.

“That’s so sweet of them.” 

“Yeah. They can be cool, when they want to.” He was looking back at the TV, scrolling through the channels again. I wondered if the discontent in the original Organa-Solo home had translated here, somehow. But then I heard footsteps, and Ben was coming down the stairs. Wearing gym shorts and a loose tank top. Fuck, his shoulders made me melty. 

“All clean,” he said with a smile. “Should I boot up the thing?”

“Mattie’s talking to Riley, isn’t she?” Kylo asked, brow furrowed and tone just slightly frustrated. But it was that frustration you get when you’re protective of someone, and worried about them. 

“Actually I think she’s talking to a friend _about_ Riley,” Ben sighed as he plopped down next to me on the couch. Kylo nodded, still frowning a little, glancing towards the stairs. Once again, I swung my feet up over Ben’s lap. He held his hands by his side a little stiffly, as though now that he wasn’t also holding a burger in his hands he wasn’t sure how to interface with me doing that. Meanwhile Kylo had been pushing buttons, pulling up good ol’ Netflix. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d watched a movie. 

“Do I have to wait for the credits to find out what it is?” I asked Ben. 

“Oh yeah,” he said. “Absolutely. Also you can talk during the movie, this isn’t one of those homes where we get pissy about that. Usually.” 

“Unless it’s that fuckin’ good,” Kylo chimed in. 

“I figured we’d wait for Mattie, but I dunno how long she’ll be,” his brother said, also glancing up at the stairs. It was funny, watching the ways that they were similar and the ways they were totally different.

“She won’t care,” Kylo said. “Or if she does for some reason, we can totally start over.”

“Yeah, fair.” Ben still seemed like he wanted to wait, but he took the remote anyway. “Shut your eyes, Aeon!”

“Oh my God,” I pretended to complain, laying my hands over my eyes. “Okay! I’m not looking!” 

I heard the sound of buttons being mashed, could just barely hear the whisper of each of their breaths. Anytime someone tells me to close my eyes for more than like, two seconds, it starts to feel like forever, and every sound seems to get bigger. 

Then, I heard a faint sound, music that wound up slowly. It was creepy, ambient, atmospheric. Suddenly I realized what it was. 

“Is this _Alien_??” I asked, jerking my hands down to look at the screen.

“You got it!” Ben laughed. “And the credits aren’t even over yet, damn. Nice.” He held out his hand, and I slapped it with a high-five. My skin crackled where we touched.

“Okay, I love this movie because of the production, actually. I’m also a nerd about that shit,” I admitted.

“You’re a nerd for a lot of things, aren’t you?” Kylo asked, one sharp brow crooked, his grin thigh-meltingly sly. 

“I also almost went to film school.” This was obviously a perfectly reasonable explanation for being a nerd… as though being a nerd about movies one way or another wasn’t what motivated you to apply to film school, or something. 

“You’ve been to a lot of schools,” Ben said. The boys were sure being observant, that night.

“Yeah, well. My history is very… colorful.” Bipolar is a trip, y’all. 

“I feel like you’ll never run out of stories about it.” Ben’s smile seemed to possibly probably maybe indicate he’d never get tired of hearing them, either. I blushed a little. “Must be nice to be interesting.” 

_ Well, that was a weird addendum. Does Ben think he’s boring? _

“It ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. You don’t know all the stories yet.” I was reminded, rather viscerally, of a time in the meditation room on the Supremacy when Kylo had fumbled through my memories and ended up actually crying, an involuntary empathic response to what he saw. I looked at the TV screen, watched the beginning shots start to unfold. 

“Some stories are sad, but that doesn’t mean they’re not worth telling,” Ben replied.

“Well said, brother,” Kylo said, giving him a slow-motion play punch on the shoulder. 

“Gee, thanks.” 

_Okay, watching these two be wholesome and support each other right now…_ Y’all, tears were trying to be in my eyes. All I could think about was how hard Kylo had worked to protect Ben and Mattie, back in our former lives. Including making terrible, misguided choices. His remorse, his struggle to change, his deep commitment to the family inside his head. And how Ben had always known, had always apologized for his brother’s shittier moments because he understood. And because he wanted me not to be angry. To stay with them. 

But it would be a weird time to cry, so I blinked a few times instead. My smile, though, I didn’t have to fake.

We chatted our way through the movie, me talking about the set building and art for _Alien_ and H.R. Geiger and all this shit I knew way too much about. Ben seemed to know a lot of it too, and between us we were geeking out a little. Kylo was interested, as movies were a very strong possibility for his career if he stayed in acting, and asked questions between bouts of picking on us. At one point I looked down at my legs and realized that Ben’s hand was resting on them, while he gesticulated with the other one. My whole body tensed with excitement, and then I pushed a few breaths in and out to try and relax again.

Mattie came back downstairs about halfway through the movie. She seemed sad, apologized for being late. Sat down on the part of the couch that was perpendicular to me and proceeded to lay down and put her golden head in my lap and curl up. I felt my face flush, but I stroked her hair and let her lay there quietly while me and the boys went back to chatting about the movie. Or tried to. They were a little too distracted worrying about her, I think.

“Hey sis, you okay?” Kylo asked, pausing the movie well before the end. She sighed, her lovely shoulders rising and falling dramatically. 

“I’ll live.” Ben and Kylo looked at each other, and then back at her.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Ben asked. Mattie craned her head to look up at him, and then decided she was better off turning onto her back so she could see us. But she left her head in my lap.

“I dunno, guys,” she said after a moment. “Jace says I should dump Riley ‘cuz she’s too chicken shit to dump me.”

“For once, me and Jace agree,” muttered Kylo. I pushed a strand of hair out of Mattie’s face, tried to pet her reassuringly.

“But I actually _liked_ Riley,” she said. “I mean this wasn’t that dumb shit I do where I date people just because they like me. I’m seriously working on breaking that habit, and you know Riley was the first time I asked someone out.”

“Ever?” I asked, a little surprised.

“Yeah, hun. I wasn’t always this hot,” she said with a halfhearted grin.

“Doubt it,” I giggled. If she felt hotter now, then that was the important thing, I knew. But I couldn’t stop myself from being able to tease her and compliment her at the same time. She turned a little pink, looking away from me.

“Maybe this Riley chick is just dating you because you liked her,” Ben pointed out. “Just doing the thing you are trying not to do.” 

“Yeah, didja think about that?” Kylo was shifting, turning to lean back against the other end of the couch. Stretching his legs towards… Ben. “Here, let me get in on this foot lounge action,” he added, pushing his feet onto his brother’s lap interwoven with mine. Laying against mine. Our skin touching.  _ Fuck. _ Ben lifted his arm, moved it to rest closer to my knee instead. My breath hitched just a little. 

“You’re so lucky your feet are clean,” Ben grumbled. Kylo was obviously pleased with how much he was annoying his brother.

“She didn’t used to be like this. Guys, she wrote me poetry. I thought that meant she fucking liked me,” Mattie said, crossing her arms, pouting at the ceiling.

“Maybe she thought she did, or she did at first, I dunno. You can’t change anything about how she feels,” Kylo said. I was trying to pay attention, but all three of them were touching me. So it was hard.

“Yeah, and even if she does like you, she’s not acting like it,” Ben added. It was funny, I thought between my rapid heartbeats, seeing them trying to take care of her the way she’d taken care of them-- and me-- once. 

“That would be even worse, somehow,” the blonde sighed. “Like, we are already dating. Why the fuck wouldn’t you act like you liked me? That’s some therapy shit.”

“No, but it really is,” I muttered. I can spot a dysregulated behavior from miles away, and whoever this hot chick was, she was doing a bad job no matter what her problem was. “Which means you can’t fix it, Mattie.” 

“Ugh, stop being right,” she pouted at me. 

“Wish I could, love,” I tutted, half playful. 

“Have you tried to talk to her about her flaky shit?” Ben asked.

“Yes. She always just gives an excuse. I texted her earlier about why she has so many excuses all the sudden, but she’s ghosting me still.” The set of her jaw told me Mattie was actually starting to feel the lump in her throat, like she wanted to cry. 

“You don’t deserve that,” Kylo said. I eyed him, and almost said something about how he didn’t deserve to be dating a girl who, for whatever reason, he could not seem to stop getting into shouting matches with. Almost. But he caught my look, and I think he saw it on my face because he held my gaze for a moment and then looked back down at his sister. 

“Listen,” I said, looking back down at the sweet-tempered, playful trans girl in my lap. She was so beautiful, I thought. And yes, deserved so much better. I put my hand on one of her arms where they crossed over her chest. “Regardless of how either of y’all feel, she is  _ not _ being responsible right now. She isn’t communicating responsibly at all. If y’all are seeing each other, however serious or casual, she still needs to use her fucking words. I know that’s hard to do sometimes, but shit. It sucks to feel like this. But  _ you _ have to decide how long you’re truly willing to put up with it. How patient you’re willing to be with her, or not. If this flaky insincere shit is hurting you that much, causing that much bullshit, then the only responsible thing you can do is break it off until ya girl either gets her shit together or y’all don’t care to work it out anymore. In my humble and totally unsolicited opinion, at least.” 

For a long moment all three of them were quiet, and I could feel eyes on me. Mattie looked up and met my gaze, big honey-brown eyes I knew so well. I hoped I hadn’t just gotten preachy or anything and upset her, but she really seemed unhappy and I wasn’t about to let her sit around and stew in it. She sighed, shut her eyes, and put her hand on mine where it rested on her arm. 

“Hun, your country accent is so cute,” she said finally, smiling up at me as she reopened her eyes. “And you literally have to stop being so right, please.” I grinned. Sometimes when I get angry my South Carolina comes back in full force. 

“Aeon’s right a lot, it would seem,” Kylo said suddenly in a low voice that rumbled over from his side of the couch, smirking at me. He was referring to our brief discussion of Dustin Hoffman, I was pretty sure. And teasing me, more than complimenting. _I CANNOT let him find out how easy it is for him to fluster me, or I am so doomed._

“Not as often as I wish I was, I’m sure,” I muttered back, cheeks warming yet again.

“Definitely this time, though,” Ben added, smiling at me and then looking back at Mattie. “Don’t wait around for this girl, sis. Or we will give you so much shit for it.” 

“Yeah. I’ll try,” she sighed, giving us all a little smile. But she was sad, I could tell. 

“Alright, it’s like 5 in the morning,” Kylo said, and I coulda sworn he rubbed his foot against mine ever so briefly before pulling his legs away and standing up from the couch. Probably an accident. Maybe. I can’t fucking tell with him!

“Yeah. We should go to bed,” his sister agreed, sighing and patting my hand before she sat up. “Thanks for letting me bitch.”

“We got you,” Ben said sweetly. 

“Yeah, anytime,” I added. “Also, is it bad that I’m not sleepy at all?” _Is it bad, though? Not being sleepy at 5 AM has been an indicator of a problem before…_

“I’m not either.” Ben shrugged. “We could put on a really boring movie and see if we get tired?” 

“Y’all do that,” Mattie giggled, towing herself up to follow her brother towards the stairs. “And sleep eventually, please.” 

“Night, little brother,” Kylo said, and then his eyes cut to me. “...and little one.” I swear to God my guts almost dropped through the floor.

“Night you two,” Ben said, throwing a wave. I echoed him faintly, fluttered my fingers in farewell. Then they were gone, and I was alone with Ben Organa-Solo.  Which did exactly nothing to slow my heart rate, obviously.

“So, a boring movie, huh?” I asked, hands fidgeting in my lap.

“Yeah, why not?” He leaned away from me to grab the remote again. His hand trailed along my calf with the motion, and I watched myself get goosebumps. Then he was back, tapping the buttons, scrolling through titles. “Oh man. They have Planet Earth, actually.”

“Wait, I love Planet Earth!” Who the fuck doesn’t love a British guy talking about mating snails and bioluminescent fish and baby lions and shit?

“Perfect.” He started the first episode immediately. “Now this is relaxing. We’ll crash in no time.” He chuckled.

“Not if I stay this cold,” I said. “Is there a blanket I could use?” 

“Oh, yeah, hang on.” He bent forward, and I moved my feet to let him move. But I sat up, and I might’ve scooted closer. Just a tad. Ben tugged a folded knit blanket patterned in rust-red and gray and brown out from under the cocktail table. “I got ya.” 

“You’re an angel,” I told him as he draped the fabric over not only my lap, but his as well. 

“Uh, I try,” he said, grinning but not looking at me as he straightened out the blanket over us. Cheeks a little pink. I just wanted to smoosh our mouths together so bad. But obviously I was nervous, and honestly I loved the excitement? Of not really knowing him like I knew the other two?

“You’re doing a great job,” I said, smiling. There was whale song coming from the TV. I leaned sideways with my head on the back of the plush leather sectional, and looked up at Ben. I could totally still see the screen, though. Yep. “You sure like movies a lot. Ever thought about film school?”

“I’ve thought about a lot of shit,” he replied, shrugging. “Thinking doesn't seem to help me pick a direction, though.”

“You could always just pick one and see what happens.”

“I guess I’m worried I’ll make the wrong choice.”

“You can also choose again, you know.” I raised a brow at him. “I chose lots of times.”

“Have you found a direction you wanna stay going, though?” He wasn’t being rude. He seemed sincerely anxious about this problem of listlessness that was looming over both of our lives (now that I was no longer a Force-using lightsaber-wielding badass, obviously). I sighed and looked away.

“I guess not, no. But at least I’m not going somewhere I don’t even wanna be.” 

“Yeah, that’s also true.” We were both looking at the TV screen now. Schools of fish were making beautiful, wobbly shapes in the ocean. It was actually pretty relaxing. I wanted to talk to Ben all night, but I was finally flagging a little. I swallowed hard, and decided to lay my head against his shoulder before I could think twice about it.

“We’ll figure it out,” I sighed. I was a little surprised when I felt him lean his head over and rest it against mine for a moment, like a sideways head bump. 

“I think so too,” he said, voice quiet and low and comforting. He let himself sink deeper into the couch, put his feet up on the cocktail table. Because of my streak of successful forays into his personal space (I really should have just asked if he was into me, but I’m a fucking baby sometimes, okay?) I decided to swing my legs up and drape them over his lap once more, but this time at a much closer proximity. 

He brought an arm over the blanket to rest on my legs, shifted just a little. And suddenly I was perfectly comfy, nothing at all awkward about the way we were sitting. A huge wave of calm washed over me, or maybe it was exhaustion, I wasn’t sure.

“I love this part,” I murmured as the screen got darker and Planet Earth descended into the deep ocean. “Everything down there fucking glows. It’s like space, but it’s underwater. It’s so cool.”

“Oh yeah?” I could hear the smile in his voice. 

“Yep.” Then I realized my eyes had slid shut, so I popped them open again, persistently trying to stay awake so I could keep talking to Ben. But I didn’t have anything to add to my statement, and neither did he. There were glowing jellyfish on the screen, though, and I was lowkey almost kinda snuggling with him, so. That was pretty fuckin’ fine with me. His chest rose and fell gently with his breath, but otherwise he was still. 

I fell asleep in record time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would like to point out that i've actually been to school for all of these things... however briefly xD
> 
> this is real cute so far, i hope y'all are enjoying the high-tension fluffiness and Kylo being a total fuckin flirt. because of course he is.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good morning, quarantine...

I was up at like 10am. I have this thing where I struggle to sleep very well in new places, even if I’m snuggled up next to a really hot, really nice person. So I think I slept for like, maybe four hours, and I woke up in the guest bedroom. 

_ Fuck. I bet Ben carried me in here and I wasn’t even awake enough to enjoy it. Oh well, you can’t win ‘em all. _ I was also kinda bummed that I didn’t get to see Ben being all cute and asleep, but whatever. I wandered into the bathroom and groaned at the amount of spreading across my face the eyeliner had done. I rubbed as much of it off my cheeks as I could, but there was still some left under my eyes. Deciding to just embrace raccoon-chic, I made my way out to the kitchen. 

Being the only one awake in a new place is kinda fun for me. I get to observe the space, see the little details about other people’s lives that are so small and seemingly meaningless. They feel like just more wonderful little things to know about a person, about who they are.

I noticed that there were some magnets on the fridge that appeared to have all three of the triplet’s high school senior portraits on them. Mattie was still early in her transition, and reminded me of a ganglier and much more shy version of Matt as they’d been in our past life. But her glasses were like the hipster version of the ones from the actual SNL skit, which made me laugh. Kylo was not smiling in his, no surprise there; hair still long and shoulders already filling out. And wearing all black, yet somehow not very goth at all. Ben’s hair was shorter, curling at the ends just below his jawline, and he was smiling like he was resigned to being photographed against his will. He was wearing a basketball jersey, and I realized that he was basically a jock, but one of the ones that is actually really chill and nice. The kind I would shoot hoops with after school even though I was terrible at basketball, because every time I managed to make a shot he’d say something like “nice job, shorty” or “look atcha go!” and pound my fist, or whatever. Cute shit like that.

Anyway. After marveling at how relatively clean the house was to have those three living in it, I started snooping around in the pantry and fridge. There was a  _ large _ amount of coffee, orange juice, pancake mix, eggs, and bacon. Plus a whole half-gallon of blueberries. I grinned a mile wide. 

By the time I heard the first set of footsteps coming from the stairs, it was after noon and the whole downstairs smelled like bacon and coffee. A massive amount of blueberry pancakes were keeping warm on a cookie sheet in the oven. The Organa-Solo kitchen was well supplied.

“Holy shit,” said Kylo as he rounded the corner. Obviously he was still shirtless and in his black sweats, because nobody was about to cut me a break in dealing with my overwhelming attraction to everybody in this house. I was cracking eggs into a big bowl so I could scramble them, the last step in my preparation of breakfast for four people (two of which, I was pretty sure, would eat twice as much as a normal person. Because when you’re that fucking tall and that fucking muscular, eating is basically a chore.)

“You don’t want cheese in your eggs, I assume?” I asked him, keeping it suuuper cool. Oh yeah. No fluster here. 

“Uh, yeah, no cheese.” He was blinking, surprised, before he shuffled over to get a glass of orange juice and then made his way around to the breakfast bar to perch on a stool and watch me with his familiar, focused gaze. “Are you always this… nice?”

“Only when I feel like it,” I joked. 

“I see.” 

“How many?” I held the fourth egg over the edge of the bowl, awaiting his answer.

“Like five?” Yeah. Big boys gotta eat a lot. 

“Cool.” I cracked in two more, beat them with a fork, threw in some salt and pepper, and poured them into the frying pan I had going with some olive oil in it. A familiar ritual that felt really comforting, and luckily after sixty years in space I was mostly used to the intensity with which Kylo observed everything. I cooked them slow, keeping the spatula moving so they didn’t get crunchy and hard but instead became beautiful soft pillows of joy. Then I piled them onto one of the stack of plates nearby. “Come grab whatever you want,” I told him as I pulled the pancakes and bacon out of the oven and laid them out on the counter with tongs. 

“Wow,” he murmured, slowly scooting off of his stool. “Thank you.” 

“Sure. Let me go wake up these freeloaders.” I smiled cheerfully as I ascended the stairs and left Kylo to my little buffet. 

I’d figured out, after being in Mattie’s room the day before, whose door was whose. There was a fourth door, but I had no idea what was in there. I knocked on hers first.

“Hey Mattie?” I called. “You want breakfast?” A moment of silence, and then I heard a thump and the door cracked open.

“Breakfast?” Sleepily she peered out at me. 

“Yeah.”

“Holy shit. Did you… God. You  _ angel, _ ” she said, opening the door fully to take in a huge breath of the smells and wrap me in a hug. I blushed and hugged her back. Mattie was a touchy one. But I’m not complaining.

“Go get food! I’ll cook your eggs when I come back down.” I urged when she pulled away. 

“Aye captain!” And she flew down the stairwell grinning. I froze.  _ Matt used to say that to me every time I flew the Falcon while he was out front. _ There was a little pang in my heart, but I couldn’t tell if it was love or just missing those times. Probably both. 

“Ben?” I called as I shook it off and stepped over to knock on his door. “O Beeeen…” 

A muffled sound, like he was yelling at the door but too sleepy to do a good job. 

“Hey nerd,” I said, cracking the door to peek in. He was splayed out on the bed in his tank top and gym shorts, lying on his stomach. He groaned into his pillow, clutched it to his face. “I made you breakfast, but you gotta tell me how you like your eggs.” Suddenly his sleepy motions stopped, and then his head (including majestic bedhead) rose and he leveled one sleepy eye at me.

“Is that what I smell?” he asked.

“Yes, it is.”

Another long groan, and he hauled himself out of bed to stand up and stretch with a yawn.  _ Fuck, he’s so cute. _ Rubbing his eyes, he plodded over to me.

“Jesus Christ,” he murmured. “Why are you so cool?” 

“A true scientific mystery,” I replied with a grin. “Come on, sleepyhead.” A pleasant ‘hmmm’ rumbled from his throat, and he followed me downstairs. 

Kylo was halfway through his breakfast, which frankly I’d expected him to scarf it down. Mattie had made herself a plate of pancakes with extra blueberries.

“Wow you literally did this,” Ben commented as he stood and stared at the kitchen, the stack of plates and pile of forks next to it, the coffee machine which had had three empty mugs (down to two now), creamer, and sugar with a spoon beside it, the pancakes and bacon. “This is like a hotel buffet.”

“They even put all the pancake toppings on the bar,” Mattie told him, sitting next to her brother on a stool with her plate and coffee. Ben’s eyes slid over to see the syrup, butter, powdered sugar, cinnamon, blueberries, and blackberry jam in a row. (Some people like jam on their pancakes, okay?)

“Is it Christmas?” he murmured. I was cracking eggs again, and trying my best not to be embarrassed at the excitement the three of them were expressing. 

“I used to do this for my friends after we went out drinking the night before, during college. Er, one of the colleges. Mattie, how many?” 

“Two is fine,” she said. “With cheese.” 

“Can I have four with cheese?” Ben asked as he started piling pancakes and bacon onto his plate. 

“I got you.” Crack crack crack crack. Scramble. Season. Pour. Add cheese. I sighed as I pushed the eggs around the pan. Kylo had grabbed the remote, and he spun on his stool to turn the TV on. 

“...State of California will be going into its official Stay-At-Home Order as of midnight tonight, indicating that all nonessential businesses will close until further notice in order to slow the spread of COVID-19. Citizens are advised to apply for emergency unemployment, which has been made accessible for those out of work due to the virus. The Governor's office has issued a list of restrictions…” 

“Jesus,” muttered Kylo. “I guess this is real.”

“I heard it’s really bad in New York,” Mattie said around a bite of pancake. “They’re setting up ICU units in Central Park.”

I scooped eggs carefully onto Mattie’s plate, then paused to eye the TV. Ben stood beside me, also looking up at the screen while he wiped a piece of bacon through a puddle of maple syrup. 

“Damn,” he said quietly. The announcer droned on, clips of hospital patients and still images of a Chinese city flashing beside him. Turning, I slid the rest of the eggs onto Ben’s plate. “Thanks.” He also took a seat at the bar, and I started cracking my own eggs. I felt strangely numb to the news.

“I guess I'm glad school’s over for me,” Kylo said with a shrug. “Wrapped up those two stupid classes I had to take to graduate.”

“I’m just applying for internships. But I’m starting to wonder if I’ll even be able to get one, if everything’s closed.” Mattie prodded her eggs with her fork. 

“Yeah, I’m not sure what kinda jobs I’m gonna be able to look for at this rate,” Ben said half into his glass of OJ. 

“You still have to go back next year, right? Cuz of that shitty transfer policy?” Mattie asked.

“Yeah.” Ben rolled his eyes. “But I can graduate in December. Fucking finally. Six years to get a Bachelor’s just because we move a lot.” He seemed to be saying this for my sake. I sprinkled cheese into my eggs.

“Yikes. You didn’t wanna stay on-campus at another school to finish on-time?” I asked, curious. 

“Honestly… no. I didn’t wanna leave my family.” He wasn’t quite meeting my eyes. “That sounds lame, I guess--”

“It’s not,” I assured him. “Sometimes your family is your best support. I get it.” Frankly, I was just on the edge of getting emotional about how they had absentee parents, just like before, only this time they could stay with them as long as possible. Clinging to them. Past college age, unwilling to let go. No Jedi academy or intergalactic war to tow them away. And it seemed like Han and Leia hadn’t always been this way, but it had gotten worse over time. Mom consumed by work, Dad always lowkey running away by choosing a job that kept him on the road for days at a time. I was starting to get the picture, here. And just like before, these three had each other more than anyone. 

“Why are  _ you _ still at home?” Mattie asked me, innocently enough. I watched the eggs as I cooked them, instead of making eye contact. 

“Because after my fifth attempt to go to college, I had a mental breakdown.” Yeah. I’m blunt like that. Every time I ever tried to hide my diagnosis, it blew up in my face, so. “Got diagnosed with bipolar, and I had to come back. I couldn’t work for a while, couldn’t go to school or do anything, really, except try new meds and struggle. I’m just now starting to think that maybe I could try to be a person again, but it sounds like my options are limited all of a sudden.” 

Ben was looking at me with his sweet, concerned face. He knew I was bipolar, I’d mentioned it more than once before, but he’d never heard the story, even this extremely abbreviated version. Mattie was listening in her kind way, one elbow on the table and her head in her hand. Kylo had still been facing the TV, but now he was looking at me out of the corner of his eye. 

“I’m sorry, hun,” Mattie said. “That sounds like a whole damn lot to deal with.” I shrugged as I slid the eggs onto the last plate, started plucking the last of the bacon and pancakes off the trays. 

“I guess it is,” I replied. “But it’s all I know. I can’t compare it to a normal life. I’ve never had one.” 

The things that had happened back in space were flitting through my mind. All the times I learned about how to listen to the Force, to pay attention to when I felt crazy, to make the choice to respond a certain way. To stop trying to run away from or deny my hallucinations. By the end of my time there, I’d gotten really good at it. I realized suddenly that I hadn’t been experiencing much in the way of symptoms since I got back, but also life had been pretty low on the stress levels. 

I glanced at the TV again, and got the strongest feeling that was about to change. 

“Are you doing alright now?” Kylo asked. It surprised me that it was him, to be honest. He’d turned around fully to meet my eyes.

“I guess so. I’ve been okay for a while. But it doesn’t go away, so. I have to be careful.” Even as I said this, the Voice of Reason was like,  _ speaking of which you sure haven’t even been to therapy once since you got back. Might wanna look into that, yeah? _

“Let us know if we can help you, Aeon.” Ben was earnest, leaning on his elbows on the breakfast bar towards me. His plate was already empty. “I mean, if something happens.”

“Yeah,” Mattie said, “we’re here if you need anything.” 

Kylo just nodded, but his face was less of a scowl than I’d ever seen it. I felt a tingle radiate from my chest out to my toes and fingers, a sensation of something like gratitude mixed with surprise. Was I still bad at asking for help?

“Thanks, y’all,” I said in a quiet voice, smiling a little. “That’s really kind of you.” 

“You’re our friend.” Ben smiled as though that explained everything. I took my first bite of eggs, breaking eye contact with any of the three of them as a lump formed in my throat. I was still prone to crying when people were nice to me, apparently. 

Once all the food had been ravaged (I made an extra round of pancakes for them, they were that fuckin’ hungry), they absolutely insisted on cleaning up and banished me to the couch. So I lounged for a little while, turning off the news and putting on the rest of Planet Earth instead. I wasn’t sure what to think about the impending quarantine, to be honest. And I started to feel a vague pang of guilt for not being home with Mom between her long-ass shifts.

“Hey y’all?” I asked when they were nearly done. “Can I borrow these clothes to head home? I’ll wash them before I bring them back.” 

“Sure, hun,” Mattie smiled. 

“No problem!” added Ben from his crouch by the dishwasher as he finished loading it. He stood and wiped his hands on his shorts. “You heading out?” 

“I should.” 

“Aw, okay.” He smiled, not pushing his hint of a pout. “Thank you so much for making us fucking breakfast, by the way.” 

“Yeah, that was awesome!” Mattie chimed in. “You’re a good cook, too.”

“I cheated and went to cooking school,” I told her with a grin.

“So much the better for us,” Kylo said, a smirk on his face. 

“No problem.” I scooped my dancing clothes and my phone and shit off the coffee table. “Thanks for letting me hang out. I really needed it.” 

“Of course,” Ben said. “Anytime. But really. You’re literally right there. Come over whenever.” 

“Same to you!” I smiled. But the pressure I felt to get back to Mom was starting to drag out this farewell. I made my way to the pile of shoes by the door to pick up my boots.

“Byeeee,” sang Mattie with a wave. 

“Later.” Kylo was characteristically brief, but he graced me with half a real smile. I waved with my fingers, turning to head out the door. 

Mom was awake, but the news was on again at home. She looked at me from her seat on the couch when the door opened. 

“You have fun?” It was clear how tired she was. She barely smiled.

“Yeah, I really did. Thanks for asking even though you didn’t want me to go.” 

“Well.” Looking back at the TV, I could feel that she was still a little chilly about the whole thing. “I just don’t want you to get sick, hun.”

“I know. That’s the end of my going-out for a while, I promise.” 

“Thank you.” Now she smiled, and looked me over. “I’m glad you have some friends here, finally. ‘Cuz if someone lends you their clothes, you’re officially friends.” 

“I hope so.” 

“I don’t need to tell you to use protection, do I?” she added with a crooked brow. My face turned bright red.

“Mom! I’m not  _ sleeping _ with any of them!” 

“I’m just saying!” 

“Oh my God,” I murmured. “Please, ma. Cut it out.”

“Okay,” she shrugged, but there was a grin on her face that meant it was obvious, to her anyway, that I had a crush on at least one of them. (Joke’s on her, it was all three of them.)

“I’m gonna go wash my face,” I grumbled, and hauled up the stairs. I heard her stifle a giggle, and doubled my pace. As I was washing up, I decided to message my therapist. The Voice of Reason was right, I needed to set up an appointment, and I knew it.

**Hey, do you have any sessions available soon? Sorry for going AWOL, just some big changes were going on.** _Like, you have no idea how big,_ I thought.

**I have tomorrow at 3pm. But due to the virus, it has to be a video call. Will that work?** I eyed the screen. It was weird for her to reply that fast on a Sunday. But kinda lucky, too.

**Yeah, sure.**

**Alright, you are scheduled for tomorrow at 3pm.**

**Thanks.**

**See you then, kiddo.** Now I straight up frowned at the screen. I couldn’t remember her ever calling me ‘kiddo.’ But I shrugged and put my phone on the charger, and went back downstairs to spend some time with Mom. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're so stinkin' cute.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things get weirder.

I was standing inside the ship at the tiny kitchenette we’d installed in the common room. I’d managed to rig up something akin to a gas range, except the ‘gas’ was a highly refined version of plasticine thermite gel that burned much lower than usual, because its usual was burning through heavily reinforced blast doors. 

In the pan were an array of vegetables from a farm on Dantooine, slowly caramelizing. Beside me, some noodles soaked in water and ready to dump into the stir-fry, along with some seasoning things we’d gathered from locals on various planets. The smell wafted through the Falcon. 

“Mmm, you’re working your magic again,” came a low voice accompanied by footsteps behind me. 

“It’s not magic, I just like cooking,” I insisted with a chuckle. “So I seize the opportunity.” 

“It’s magic, hun.” Large hands landed on my sides, slid around my waist. A proud nose pressed against my ear. “Just like the rest of you.”

“Psh.” But my cheeks always got warm, along with other parts of me, when Matt started to compliment me like that. “Flattery will get you everywhere,” I murmured.

“Will it?” Their hand slid up under my loose vest, pressed warm into the skin on my belly. They nuzzled into my ear and the delicate place just below it, murmuring with plush lips into my neck. “‘Cuz I’d like to go a few places with you.”

“Like where?” Fingers were sliding under my waistband, running along it from one side of my hips to another, and I was already starting to breathe harder and shake a little. Matt’s other hand reached out to turn off the tiny stove, and pushed the pan back onto a cold burner. Always so thoughtful. 

“Someplace I can have dessert first,” they cooed, hand sliding lower under the fabric of my trousers. I almost dropped the wooden spoon I’d been stirring the vegetables with, but managed to slip it into the pan as a wanton groan escaped my throat. 

“Fuck…” Their hand worked its own magic, and my guts started to tighten. I whimpered in spite of myself when their mouth landed hot on my neck in a spot that was already tender with a faint bruise acquired the day before. Too soon their hand and mouth withdrew, spinning me around to look up into molten amber eyes framed in blonde hair. Two hands took my cheeks, drawing me closer as they bent down to hover lips near mine.

“You’re  _ gorgeous, _ ” they murmured, and I felt a strange pang just then. Almost like deja-vu, but not quite the same. 

“Matt…” Before I could breathe any other word, they enveloped me in a kiss with hands that snaked down my body to push it against theirs, arousal pressed hard into my belly--

I woke with a start, breathing heavily. Another dream, but the dreams I had about the Janus system were mostly memories tangling up in my conscious experiences with the triplets now. Strange moments would tether the two together, and the memory of Mattie calling me that word was too fresh for me to miss it in my dream. Who knew if that was what Matt had really said at the time, but it didn’t seem unlikely. 

I glanced at my alarm clock and groaned. Almost 1pm already! I was getting a little too good at sleeping my days away, and even though I had nowhere to be, it felt bad. But I decided to try and cut myself a little slack, since I’d barely slept the night before in the Organa-Solo guest bedroom. That weekend still seemed unreal. 

Hauling myself out of bed, I thudded downstairs to eat a bowl of cereal, say hi to mom, and notice my dad’s absence yet again despite the fact that he’d been gone for a while. How are you supposed to bring that up with a parent if they won’t bring it up to you? So I just shoved it to the back of my mind and told her I was seeing my therapist that day instead. 

“That’s good, sweetheart,” she said, nodding her approval. “Are you feeling bad?”

“Not really, but you’re not supposed to quit therapy just because you feel better,” I told her with a frown. “Plus, I have no idea what the hell’s going on with this lockdown thing. I keep feeling like I should be panicking, but I’m not.” 

“LA is a lot worse than out here where it’s quieter.” She was folding laundry at the kitchen table while I crunched at my cereal. “You should be okay as long as you’re not going to crowded places all the time, and you wash your hands and wear your mask.”

“My mask?”

“I brought us some,” she said, nodding over to the counter. A stack of surgical masks was there inside a their box, like an almost-empty container she’d pinched from the hospital. “Please don’t use them up fast. I’m afraid we’re about to be really short on them at work soon, since we’re already low on N95 masks.”

“Uh, okay.” This was starting to feel like a video game or a movie. Or a manic episode, even, though not like any I’d ever had before. “I won’t go out anywhere anyway, except the grocery store I guess.” 

“I stocked up on some things. People are buying shit up like crazy, it’s so absurd.” She rolled her eyes. “It’s making things worse than they have to be, causing panic. Like they didn’t know you can still go get groceries during a stay-at-home order, or something.” 

“They probably didn’t,” I murmured, distracted by the fact that I was feeling more and more dissociated. Like even the conversation I was having at that moment didn’t feel real, like I had no emotional engagement with it at all. Just like talking to an NPC in a video game, except it was my mom and I knew that so it mattered to me on some level. That level just felt faint and far away. 

“People are ignorant, it’s true,” she sighed. “I’m going back for another shift tonight, by the way.” 

“Another one?” She normally got two or three days between shifts.

“Yeah. They need us really badly right now.” Now she shook her head, and pushed the basket of clean clothes towards me. “The rest of these are yours to do with what you will, by the way.”

“Okay, mom. I’ll put them away and put the basket back.” I knew she’d appreciate that, at least. She smiled.

“Thanks, sugar.” I watched her stand up, pat my head. “I like that haircut, by the way. Mattie did a good job.”

“I’ll tell her you said so,” I replied, returning her smile faintly. She wandered off to do God knows what else, and I looked down into the remaining third of my cereal. Suddenly, I wasn’t very hungry. But I scarfed it down anyway, and put my bowl in the dishwasher.

I was mostly presentable when I sat on my bed with my computer to talk to my therapist. I logged into their telehealth site, answered the questions, hung out waiting for her to “pick up” the video call. 

But the person who picked up my call was most definitely not my therapist.

“Hey kid,” said a man with shaggy hair and a beard streaked with gray on the other side of the screen.

“Luke!” I almost shouted, nearly jumping off my bed. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Checking in, of course!” He seemed way too nonchalant. “How’s it going?” 

“How’s  _ what _ going? My life?”

“Well yeah, and the kids next door!” He grinned. “I was proud of myself for thinking of that. You been having fun?” 

I blinked for a second at him, stunned. “Uh, yes. Actually. I mean aside from this virus situation, I guess I’ve been having a lot of fun, so far.”

“Oh yeah, that.” He frowned. “Sorry about that. I couldn’t do anything about it, it was just coming up in your timeline here. Though, I can’t seem to see how it’ll turn out.”

“That’s… a little weird, isn’t it?”  _ Shouldn’t he be able to see the future, or at least a few possible futures, if he was still one with Force and all that? _

“Yeah, a little. No idea what it means, except maybe there’s just too many factors that are in the middle of changing.” He shrugged and didn’t seem too bothered. I frowned at him.

“Well, I was making this appointment with my therapist because I’m pretty sure it’s gonna stress me the fuck out,” I told him. “And we both know what happens when I’m stressed.” 

“Hey, I’m here to help!” he insisted. “You can see your normal therapist too, this was just the easiest way to pop in.” I rolled my eyes. It’s not like this wasn’t wildly in-character for him, after all.

“Fine, okay. That works for me.” I eyed him. “How are you? Are you like… here?”

“Oh yeah, I wasn’t gonna miss this opportunity!” He grinned at me like a kid. “Earth is a crazy place. Even without the global pandemic thing.” 

“Glad you’re having fun,” I muttered. “You don’t have like… a job for me this time, do you?”

“What?” He waved me off. “Nah. Not yet, anyway.”

“Not yet?”

“Listen, if something weird and bad happens, I might call you,” he said, and I rubbed my forehead. “But really, I was not planning on giving you any more super secret missions. If something comes up, it's a bad fluke.”

“Yeah. Okay. Cool.” I eyed him, and remembered suddenly some of the concerns I’d had about interfacing this world and his. “By the way… you know Star Wars is a thing here, right?”

“Oh yeah,” he nodded, totally unbothered. “I know. But, the Organa-Solo kids don’t.”

“So should I like, not tell them? Will that break something?” I asked nervously. 

“I don’t know, to be honest.”  _ Jesus fucking hell. That’s great.  _

“Uncle Luke, they’re some of the main characters!” I hissed, exasperated. “Er, well, most of them anyway. What if it weirds them out? Can they be reminded of what happened before without something going wrong?” 

“First of all, pretty sure  _ I’m _ the main character,” he said, wagging his brows. “Second of all, I don’t know if something will go wrong, I really don’t.  _ You _ remember, after all, and nothing’s gone wrong for you.” I realized I was clenching the sheets on my bed that I sat on, and grinding my teeth a little.

“Yeah, okay, sure. But why would you wipe their memories?” 

“Maybe I just wanted you to have a chance to win their little hearts all over again,” Luke replied with a saccharine smile. 

“Yeah, right. Try again, old man.”

“I’m serious. Plus, they deserve another chance to be themselves. To experience this life, which is way different from what happened in our world. You already knew what you were getting into there, but they have no idea what’s going on here.”

“Just in time to have the weirdest experience ever with this whole quarantine thing,” I murmured, but I was less annoyed now. That was thoughtful of Luke, in his way. “I guess none of us knows what to expect in this case.”

“It’ll be an adventure for everyone, then. And you four adventure well together.” 

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I said dryly. Then yet another thought occurred to me. “Also, why the  _ fuck _ is Rey here? I’m not trying to be rude, but honestly! Her and Kylo seem to be making each other miserable! Who’s idea was that??”

“Sorry, you glitched out a little there, what did you say?” asked Luke, hand to his ear. But my signal was solid as hell, so I glared at him. 

“I said, why the fuck is Rey--”

“I think I’m losing you, kid.” Now the screen was starting to freeze and pixelate, which made no sense because we paid for hella wifi here?  _ What the fuck is he doing?  _

“Stop avoiding the question!” I barked.

“Listen, I’ll catch you later, alright? Go ahead and message your therapist for real. Bye!” And then his screen went black. I stared at it for a second, shaking the laptop a little.

“Godammit Luke you sonofabitch!” I let out a frustrated noise, half sigh and half growl, and fell backwards onto my bed with the computer still in my lap. “This is so typical!” Even with the fate of the galaxy  _ not _ at stake, Luke was still a troll. I shouldn’t have been surprised, really. I put my hands over my face with a groan.  _ Guess I’ll figure this out as I go along, just like last time.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of y'all guessed it xD


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I get some Solo time with Ben... ayeeeee

The next night, I was sitting on my roof enjoying the cool temperature and the pitifully small number of stars you could see that close to LA. I’d thought about buying cigarettes that day, but I know that those urges tend to be a little self-destructive. Kylo could be the repository for my self-destruction, I decided, because I already knew how to handle that. Of course, with Rey in the mix this time, who knew how it would be different?

I was mulling over just what the exact purpose of this whole excursion was-- _surely Luke didn’t bring us all here just to dick around? During a global pandemic? That is NOT premium dicking around time!--_ when I heard the window across from me open up. A shaggy head of black hair leaned out, looked around below, and then turned up to swoop across the sky until a pair of brown eyes landed on me. 

“Oh, hey Aeon,” Ben said, obviously surprised. 

“Hey nerd,” I replied with a grin that was a little wry. “How’s it going?”

“I feel like now that I’m not supposed to be doing anything, I just wanna go out and do everything.” He shook his head. “It’s really annoying, actually.”

“Yeah, but it kinda makes sense. I mean, this is an objectively weird situation.”

“You have a point. You sit up there a lot?”

“What, on the roof?” I chuckled. “Yeah, all the time. It’s nice.”

“You don’t get nervous you’ll… fall off?” His brow furrowed, equal parts concerned and embarrassed. It was obvious that he was more nervous about that than I was.

“Not after all these years of sitting on it, no. The incline isn’t that steep,” I assured him. “You’re welcome to sit with me and find out, if it makes you feel better,” I added before I thought with my brain about the words coming out of my mouth. Now, all of a sudden, I _was_ nervous. 

“Um,” he replied, trepidatious. “I think… well, I guess I could see how it would be nice.”

“You scared?” I asked, wry grin returning. Classic projection, that always works. 

“No,” he said, a little too pointedly. “I just wouldn’t want you to fall.”

“I’m fine. I promise. But you can come up and make sure.” Well, I was committed to the bit now. There was nothing for it. 

“Okay, I will!” 

“Just be quiet when I let you in. Mom’s asleep and she works 24 hours shifts.”

“Damn,” he whistled quietly. “Your mom’s a champion.” 

“She can be, yes. See you soon?”

“You’re on.” With a grin, he ducked back inside, shut the window. Before I had time to be a big baby and regret what I’d done, I scampered back through my open bedroom window and floated with practiced silence down the stairs to the front door. Somehow, he was already walking up when I opened it. 

“Fancy meeting you here,” he crowed, clearly pleased with his time.

“Shh,” I warned, holding a finger to my puckered lips. “C’mon!” After he drew inside, I shut and locked the door and then beckoned him to follow me. I felt like his giant footsteps were painfully loud, but honestly they probably weren’t that bad. How could a guy that fucking big move as quietly as me, anyway?  We entered my room, which I realized belatedly looked like a minor hurricane had struck it. _Shit._

“Please ignore the shitshow, I’m still recovering from the amount of clothing that Mattie made me try on the other night,” I said quietly after I shut the door. Ben gave a little chuckle.

“I don’t care if your room’s messy, I promise.” 

“Your graciousness is noted.” I grinned, stopping at the open window. “Watch and learn, my guy.” And then I bent to crawl through the window, which wasn’t that hard because it wasn’t that small, and scampered on all fours out onto the roof. Spinning around, I saw Ben’s skeptical face watching after me. “Or, you can try the feet-first technique. Whichever works.” 

“Uh huh.” He scanned the roof and the window ledge as though sizing up his chances of fatal injury from the whole process. Then he sidled up to the window and raised his leg to stick one foot out onto the roof.

“Ah, a feet-first guy. I shoulda guessed.” I should not have guessed. I had no way of knowing nor any metric to measure by. I was just in full-blown joker mode to cope with how genuinely big my crush on this tall, gentle nerd had blossomed on the dance floor ever so recently. 

Ben made a noise, some distracted response to my witty remark as he eased onto the roof with slow, wary motions. He was wearing a muscle tee and a pair of casual shorts, and seeing his body tense and move was kinda fascinating. Even with the confidence of a baby faun taking its first steps, he was beautiful to watch. Once he was out, he eased down on his butt and palms until he was beside me. 

“Not so bad, huh?” 

“I think I did pretty good,” he said, nerves still in his voice. 

“You performed admirably,” I assured him with a pat on his knee. The funny thing about the clown attitude is that it weirdly emboldens me, too. But it only works with people like Ben, usually. Still leaning back a little stiff on his palms, he smiled thinly at me. 

“Thanks, coach.”

“I’m here for you.” I watched him, curious, as he looked around and up at the sky. 

“You can see more stars here than in the city,” he noted. In that moment, a brief flicker of a memory surfaced in my mind. 

_ Ben, standing in the cockpit on the Falcon, staring out the window. A few moments before I had been talking to Kylo, sussing out our plans for landing at wherever we were. I remembered him falling silent as he stared out the window at a trinary star system; there were so few of them in the galaxy. One star was larger than the others, nearing the end of its life, duller and red. The entangled pair that orbited it were smaller, one bright yellow and one orange. I was familiar with this system by then. So even though I always took time to enjoy the view, it was almost like I could see it for the first time again when Ben turned around to look at me with pure, joyful awe. _

_ “Aeon,” he said, nearly breathless. “This is amazing.” _

_ I felt a smile breaking out over my face. “Yeah. Yeah, it really is, isn’t it?”  _

Jolted back to reality, I found myself smiling the profoundly fond smile I’d been smiling way back then. Proooobably inappropriately fond for the present timeline. Ben’s eyes had wandered back down and he was looking at me with a slightly confused expression.

“What?” he asked, the corner of his mouth threatening a smile of his own.

“Oh, nothing,” I murmured. “Just… it’s cute how you think this is a lot of stars.” Nevermind the number of stars I saw whenever we visited family back in South Carolina. I mean, try being in fucking space, right? 

“Listen, I can’t help that I’m a city boy.”

“Yeah, well I’m probably still a country bean at heart.”

“Are you?” He raised an eyebrow. “You don’t seem all that country to me. Except you say ‘y’all’ all the time.”

I barely managed to contain a snort of laughter when I heard him try to pronounce ‘y’all’. “I said  _ at heart, _ Ben. That means deep down past the fifteen moats, forbidden forest, and stone walls where I keep my bullshit.” Luckily, he seemed to find this hyperbole funny, and started chuckling. Then he leaned back a little further, lowering to his elbows to stare up at the sky. 

“Yeah, okay. I’ll wait till after I complete that quest to see if you’re actually country or not,” he said. It took me a moment to realize the exact subtext of what he’d just said. _Damn, Ben. That was… smooth. Like, dorky and smooth. At the same time._ I swallowed the sudden tension in my throat and felt my heart kick around a little.

“I hope you got good stats then, city boy,” I managed, a little less buoyant now that he’d gone and said that shit to me. I decided to lay back on the roof properly beside him. “Or like, an enchanted sword or something. There's some weird shit in that forest.” From his elbows, he turned his head and looked at me. 

“You can’t scare me,” 

“‘Cuz I’m not really trying to.” The sheer obviousness of this metaphor was almost annoying. But not annoying enough for me to get vulnerable enough to break it yet.

“You got a secret move or something? Some dark spell to fuck with me just when I think I’ve won?”

“It’s not a secret. I’m bipolar as fuck.” Well, the metaphor was broken now, I guess. Once ya get going into the crazy talk...

“Is that supposed to be scary, or…?”

“It’s scary to some people,” I murmured, crossing my arms. I was wearing a big hoodie and shorts, and in that moment I was tempted to just pull the hood over my head. I’d already told Matt and Kylo these stories in our former lives. It had been some time since I’d even thought about how no matter how honest and communicative I’d tried to be about my brain, before I’d woken up in a galaxy far, far away most of my relationships (hell, even my friendships) had been wrecked in the face of the issues I worked so hard to control. My eyes shifted away from Ben, landing on an errant star too bright to be intimidated by distant LA smog and light pollution. 

I heard him shift again and lay down fully beside me, scooting down a little so his head was level with mine. I felt his big, sincere eyes on me. 

“It’s not scary to me, Aeon,” he said, voice quiet but very firm. I turned back to look at him, pretty sure it was painfully obvious on my face that I  _ wanted _ to believe him. But this wasn’t Star Wars anymore, and there was no Force for my brand of insanity to link to. He held my gaze in earnest, like that alone would convince me. 

“We’ll see.” My voice was barely above a whisper. “But thank you. I do appreciate that.” His eyes softened, his mouth a gentle suggestion of a smile. 

“Hey, dancing wasn’t scary to you. We all have our things, right?” Now I couldn’t help smiling again. 

“Did you have fun? I didn’t push you too hard did I?” 

“No, it’s okay. I needed the push. Once I was out there with you…” Finally Mr. Smooth’s face seemed, in the dull light of a distant moon and a less distant city, to blush a little. “It was worth it.” 

“Yeah,” I said, feeling my face start to get warm, too. “It was.” His face was awfully close, lying there on the roof. _Oh, shit. Wait. Is this a romantic setting? Are we…?_

“Maybe I’ll do it again sometime.” 

“Now that I’ve popped your cherry?” I was smug, I couldn’t help it. That last-minute defense against seeming too vulnerable, too available. Joke deflection time! His laugh was small, noiseless.

“When do we get to hang out and do something  _ I’m _ good at?” he replied, and I swear to God my body turned into jello a little bit. His eyes were burning, not at all interested in hiding the world of suggestions under his question despite how it was masquerading as his usual charming self-deprecation. _Christ alive,_ I thought. _I did not know Ben had this in him!_ It wasn’t the same predatory confidence Kylo had. It wasn’t a threat or a promise. It was like an invitation, a suggestion, a temptation. 

“I dunno, city boy, what are you good at?” If he was gonna fluster me like that, he was gonna have to keep it up. Why, you ask? Why didn’t I just take him up on it instead of escalating the game? That’s a great fuckin’ question. I’ll let you know when I figure it out.

Ben’s expression was deliciously caught off-guard, like he wasn’t expecting me to challenge him and he was kinda lowkey impressed. He laughed softly again, smiling, glancing away from me as he bit his lip. My heart started to beat in my guts, my throat. He was throwing out some very smooth lines, sure, but they weren’t rehearsed. Neither were his responses. Like I knew he didn’t realize he’d bitten his lip. That made it even more dizzying somehow. 

Of course, before he could answer, I heard the slide of the window in his house opening. 

“There you are!” Mattie chided, her blonde head emerging into the night. “Hey, dad’s coming home tomorrow.” Ben’s expression dropped, and he leaned upwards to peer at his sister.

“For how long?” The sheer lack of expectations in his voice made me kinda sad.

“I dunno, like a night? Two? The usual.” 

“Awesome.” Ben’s voice was flat, and then he just let his head thud back onto the roof where it had been before, staring up at the stars. “Thanks for the update.”

“Yeah, well, I thought you’d wanna know.” Mattie seemed just as weary as Ben did about it. “Sorry Aeon. I didn’t mean to  _ interrupt _ anything.” I could hear the impish grin in her voice, but as I turned to stick out my tongue at her, her head vanished and the window shut behind it. So I turned back to look at Ben instead. His face was long even from the majestic profile as he gave the sky a look that was too tired to be forlorn.

“You okay?” I asked him softly. He took a deep, slow breath. 

“Yeah. I’m okay.” His eyes slid shut, head lolling towards me a little even as he faced away for a moment. “Sorry about the buzzkill.” 

“It’s cool.” I mean, of course I was slightly bummed, but. This was Organa-Solo family angst, a brand I was more than a little weak for. “Your dad’s a busy guy, huh?” 

“Yeah.” His hands had, in their shifting, found a tiny twig from a nearby tree with one leaf still on it that was laying on the roof. He picked it up, tore the broken end of it off and threw it mindlessly over the edge of the roof. “Busy.” 

“Sorry, Ben.”

“What for? It’s not your fault.”

“I’m just saying it sucks.” 

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Whatever. It’s the same old shit. ‘Cept every time he goes away, I get a little happier he’s gone.” 

_Wow. I wasn’t expecting that._ I dunno what I was expecting exactly, but that caught me off-guard somehow. This timeline’s version of Ben was a little more complicated, after all.

“That’s…”

“I don’t mean to sound shitty,” he interjected. “I just… it gets old, yanno? He seems less and less happy to even be here. Maybe I’m making that up, but I dunno. He keeps talking about buying a motorcycle. Like okay, you don’t need another excuse to leave. But he doesn't just… leave. He pretends he’s still here. That’s even worse, somehow.” 

I just looked at him, listening closely. He was breaking the twig apart piece by piece, chucking the pieces away, fast approaching the end with the leaf.

“Sorry,” he mumbled after a moment. “I didn’t mean to dump on you.” 

“It really is fine,” I said. “Like, you don’t seem like you get to talk about this much. You can tell me about it. I don’t mind.” He brought the leaf, finally the only remaining piece of the twig in his hands, up to his face a laid it on his own nose as he pursed his lips and sighed again. 

“Thanks.” Finally his eyes wandered back to me, and I half-smiled at how silly he looked with the leaf on his nose. Reaching up to pluck it from his face and twist it around by its stalk, I batted his chin with it. 

“Anytime, nerd.” His smile, though only halfhearted, was genuine. 

“I should go home.” 

“If you want to,” I said, voice quiet as I tried not to sound disappointed. “I’ll see you out.”

“Thanks.” For just a moment longer we looked at one another, and I wished to hell I knew what else to say. I was the first to push myself upright, depositing the leaf on Ben’s knee for no reason other than I wanted to drag out the remaining cuteness as long as I could. Then I turned on all fours and climbed back through my bedroom window, turning as I landed to watch Ben push himself onto his stomach and literally army-crawl towards me. 

“Wow, that’s an innovative technique,” I said. 

“I do my best.” He was pulling himself through the window, but couldn’t quite get his knees through. 

“Here, you dork, lean on me,” I advised as I stood close and let him brace his (big, gorgeous) hand on my shoulder. Oof. As he pulled himself more, one leg swung inside towards the floor. But the other came too quick on its heels, and his weight suddenly careened forward and into me, bringing us both crashing to the floor with him half on top of me. 

“Ow,” Ben groaned. 

“Did you hit your head?” Nevermind that my elbow had thudded on something and my shoulder got crushed for a split second between him and the floor. Oh no. That was far from my main concern, here. 

“I-- ow. Yes.” He tried to rise up and rub his crown, which had banged against my nearby bedframe-- luckily not on a corner of it or anything. My heart was racing, worried he’d actually hurt himself. But a knock like that can make you dizzy for a minute, so he ended up collapsing back onto me, head in the crook of my neck. “Jeez,” he groaned. I pulled the arm that wasn’t pinned under him up to pet his temple gently. 

“Give it a second,” I urged. 

“Seeing stars,” he said in a half-murmur, half-groan. “Not the cool space kind.” 

“It’ll be fine in a sec.” I wasn’t too worried, in fact if I hadn’t been so fully flushed by the gorgeous fucking body that was half on top of me I might’ve laughed. I was mostly rigid beneath him, trying not to move and somehow make it more awkward than it already was. He went slack for a moment. 

“Fuck. Sorry,” he groaned, pushing himself up again with more success this time. I let him find his awkward way off me, lying paralyzed on the floor for a moment as he hauled himself up to standing while rubbing his eyes. 

That body, that weight… it was different than before, but it was also achingly familiar. I was a little dizzy myself to be honest. 

“S’okay.” 

“Here.” He offered me one hand, the other still on his head. I took it and hauled myself to my feet. I reached up to try and brush his hair away from his forehead, to see if I could check for something, blood, I dunno. In the lamplight, his face was ruddy as he squeezed his eyes shut and wobbled slightly. 

“It’s not bleeding, at least,” I pronounced. “It’s just gonna be a lump tomorrow.” 

“Great,” he laughed, finally opening his eyes a little at a time. Even the gentle lamplight, and the light of my star-lights strung around the room, took him a hot minute to adjust to. Finally they swam to me, focusing. “Where’d I damage you?”

“It’s not a big deal.” I wasn’t really feeling the throbbing pain in my elbow or my shoulder yet. And frankly, they seemed pretty minor, too. 

“S’what you get for listening to me whine. No good deed goes unpunished,” he chuckled weakly. 

“Shut up, nerd. You’re allowed to have feelings.”

“News to me.” His eyes were wandering away again, but his deadpan struck me. I mean, I wasn’t good at letting myself have feelings either. For a lot of reasons. It kinda made sense that someone raised by Leia and Han would struggle with that, too.

“If you need more news, I’m chock fulla headlines,” I said dryly. “Can you walk yet?”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” he muttered, rubbing his head again. “Thank you.” 

“For what?”

“Oh, you know. Cushioning my fall and all that,” he replied, a grin coming over him. 

“Wow. The audacity.”

“Nah, I’m kiddin’. For, uh. I dunno. Being yourself, I guess.” Now he just seemed grateful, tired of his own jokes. I put my hand on his arm, trying to appreciate his comment and reassure him somehow at the same time.

“Come on. You gotta go home and ice your head.” 

I led him down the stairs and through the house to the doorway, opening it for him and standing beside it like a butler or a bellhop. 

“My Lord,” he said in a very hushed voice, bowing dramatically. I held in a laugh that went back way more years than he was aware of, back to my early days on the _Supremacy._

“Actually, I prefer Your Radiance,” I told him just as quietly. 

“Your Radiance,” he replied immediately, doing the same dumb bow. God, I already adored him. 

“Alright, get outta my house, you’re letting the bugs in,” I chided him with a giggle, picking up my foot to nudge his bum with it. Smiling broadly, he exited, and I closed the door following along behind him. Outside, he turned again. 

“Goodnight, Aeon,” he said, still quiet, but without his goofiness this time. I met his eyes, sad and sweet in the faint light from the kitchen doorway. 

“Goodnight, Ben.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof. y'all the quarantine fatigue is so real right now. i hope this chapter was worth the wait <3


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